Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Writing Words about Stuff

I met with my supervisor, Javier, this week having sent him through the first draft of the script that I will submit as part of my final MA project.

Javier was very encouraging about the shape and the energy of my script. I was expecting him to try to persuade me to spoon-feed the storyline to the audience but this was not the case. In fact he advised me that going into detail about the story would detract from the visceral and the visual impact of my work!

Through out the MA there has been a tension. Something about the way we've been taught hasn't felt right for me and I've not been able to pin down exactly what the problem has been. I'm not sure I will fully understand until after the course is over (its not meant to be fun after all) but at the moment I am experiencing a sense of clarity and freedom because I feel understood. Could it be that the mainstream aims of the course have jarred more significantly that I've allowed myself to contemplate? I've certainly been angry and frustrated at times when I've craved freedom and experimentation and what I've been faced with are format and convention and rules. 

When I attended D&D North East this year I spoke of some of my frustrations to Phelim McDermott and he advised me to use my frustration and anger in my work. At the time it sounded like good advice but I didn't fully understand. Now I think I know exactly what Phelim was talking about.

Experiencing encouragement and understanding when I've produced something using only my gut instincts has been like rain clouds clearing. Now it feels like I'm open to vast possibilities and I can simply be myself in my writing and approach. 

I feel like throwing all the 'how to' books out of the window!

I have two more drafts of my script to write. I'm not even going to refer to the initial draft when I write the next one. I'm going to take a deep breath, switch off my brain and dive in at the deep end. If there's anything worth retaining from the first draft it will be residual in my subconscious and make it through to draft two.

The next part of the submission is the almighty 8,000 word thesis that will explain the theoretical framework for my writing. 

There is method in my madness.

The content is written from my gut, yes, but the frame for that content, the structure of the piece, the character development work and research have all been undertaken in a logical way and for logical (well to me anyway) reasons.

I have to explain my logic. This is what the 8,000 words are for and this is where the frustration comes in handy and can be used to drive my argument. I have to make myself understood! The play is complex and unintelligible so my explanation and justification have to be clear. And my desire to be understood is even stronger because I haven't been up till now.

I've decided that i'm going to blog (maybe a little, maybe a lot) about the process of writing my 8,000 words (thanks to Grace for the suggestion). What or how or why will become apparent as I write I think. 

Ok, for starters I offer you this...

Our notion of past, present and future is 'a priori' which means learned without experience. Could it be that past, present and future is actually an ordering system that we apply to something more complex? Could past future and present help us make sense of our lives when really we exist in a non-linear chaos?

I'll leave you to ponder this for now...

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