Friday, 19 October 2012

Day thirteen - a grey day

The spontaneous magic that we've enjoyed in the room to date is very much absent during day thirteen.
The structure that evolved during 'The Po Faced Version' has ripped the guts out of the work. It is currently so stripped back that the heart of it feels like it's missing.

The elegant new shape of the work is definitely a positive, so much so that we can't revert to the previous chaos, but never-the-less it feels like we're all grieving what was there before.

Where previously we had game structures and improvisation, now we pin down moments. Where previously we had unpredictable spontaneity, now we have performed certainty. In all honesty, I am disappointed that we've begun to work this way. I think that until this point I thought there really was a holy grail of 'live-ness' that genuinely wasn't pre-meditated and then performed. It felt like a failing to not be able to achieve this and to have to be directing each moment instead. (In writing this I'm thinking that there probably is a holy grail of 'live-ness', the reason we didn't hit upon it was because our particular circumstances were not right.)

It's a painstaking day, we struggle with focus in our fatigued states. However, there are positives. We leave at the end of the day with a well honed re-worked structure and Jonnie's sound work has significantly evolved. But still, we all feel pretty terrible. As Iain Bloomfield (AD at The Mill) puts it 'You have to break it before you can put it together again' and this is what we're feeling the impact of.

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