Northern Creative

Briefly on arts co-ops (summary of Emerge Open Space discussion 19/06/11)

2011-06-20T15:19:00.004+01:00

Ok, so as some of you can probably tell by my Twitter timeline yesterday’s Emerge Open Space with Red Ladder was inspiring, exciting, galvanising, educational, informative, fun and many other things in between.

Those of us who attended were all in agreement that there’s a huge amount of exciting work coming out of the region. Absolutely masses of the stuff! We had a fab discussion about consolidating a narrative around the work, the making of it and the people involved. We agreed that we should find a way of blowing our regional trumpet but I won’t mention that for now as it’s a whole other tangent (intelligent arts journalist types who might like to jump on bandwagon, please make contact).

We were also all in agreement about the challenges that we all face as artists/makers/practitioners and we identified that we’re all going through those challenges in isolation, trying to tackle the difficulties on our own.

The word COMMUNITY (a critical yet nurturing one) featured very, very heavily throughout the day. We all articulated a need for it and the fact that the room was buzzing with energy demonstrated the possibilities of being part of one. We became more and more energised and radiant as discussions progressed (despite many of us recovering from West Yorkshire Playhouse’s Transform Season closing event the night before). It felt fantastic to get together with like minded individuals with similar aims. It was supportive, cathartic and invigorating.

One of the proposed open space sessions asked ‘when should I give up the day job?’ another ‘do we measure our worth/work in terms of money/career?’ and another ‘what are the challenges/advantages for a new company starting out in the region?’

We grouped these three questions together and set about establishing how it could be possible to create the work we wanted to create, with the necessary resources in place, whilst also surviving financially. It seemed that making work was all sacrificing, exhausting, virtually impossible whilst holding down a day job and more often that not on a ‘beg, borrow and steal’ budget. We were operating as ‘jacks of all trades’ which prevented us being masters in any one area.

Rod Dixon (of Red Ladder fame) quickly identified the possibility of a co-op. I looked around and noticed that the people sitting around me had skills that I didn’t and vice versa. Each of us wanted to make creative work but we all had experience in different areas/roles/jobs to pay our bills. I looked at Kus with his sales experience, Jaye with her PR & marketing, Carolyn with her outreach & education background, Lucy with her arts management etc. etc. (there were other folk there – I haven’t forgotten you – I just don’t know your background so well yet) and I realised that collectively we were potentially a powerful machine.

I shouted out ‘We could be a producing co-op!’.

Recently I’ve felt the strain of trying to balance both the creative and the practical elements of a project and had begun to realise the significance of the producer’s role in making a space (space being time, energy, resources, gigs as well as physical space) for the creative work. I don’t normally speak without engaging my brain first but my producing co-op suggestion was obviously keen to be heard as it splurged forth without my thinking about it.

Perhaps the others had felt the same kind of strains as folk seemed to quickly subscribe to this idea. We identified that we all had time and skills we could offer in exchange for the space (time,energy,resources,gigs) to do our own thing creatively (I should point out that we all have different creative agendas – so we weren’t proposing that we’d all work together creatively, we’d keep our own projects). We could support each other by taking a portion of the workload for someone else’s project in return for the others taking a portion of the workload when it came to our project.

It was acknowledged that money would be required (we’d be sacrificing our time so we’d need a way to pay the bills) and it was expected that we’d be able to trade our transferable skills in lucrative ways (commercial sector workshops/training, education programmes, artists outside of co-op in need of support) and that we’d be able to take a living from this income and invest surplus back into the co-op to cover the costs of the range of creative work we make (which would also be income generating and also feed back into the co-op). We’d be a self sufficient little industrious machine creating a cluster of works/shows/performances which we could collectively promote and tour.

Strength in numbers! Empowering stuff!

Of course it’s not quite so simple as I’ve tried to make it seem here. There are parts that I’m still not 100% certain about and there’s complex fine detail that would need to be established. What I’ve written in this blog post are only my own thoughts, ideas and interpretations. Others may interpret the discussion differently. If anyone reading out there can see any snags or that I’m off the mark, please do feel free to point them/it out, I am still learning…

I don’t think setting up a co-op is an ‘easy’ thing to do. It takes a massive amount of extremely hard work, dedication and patience to attend to the finer points and details. There’s a huge amount of facilitation, negotiation, discussion, co-operation and teamwork involved. A co-op would definitely be looking for ‘workers not shirkers’ to make it work. Though as I write this I realise that making theatre already demands all of the things I’ve listed above. Maybe we’re better prepared than we realise to make a co-operative really work?

Elephant in the Room at Accidental Festival

2011-05-10T15:45:00.000+01:00

For tickets please follow this link

Changing one variable at a time

2011-04-28T20:18:00.007+01:00

So, with feedback in mind and a considerable break since performance on 1^st & 2^nd April and next rehearsal on 28^th April I have a think about how the feedback might be practically explored. My plan is to adjust the stage picture but keep the sound the same in the first instance - like a scientific experiment changing one variable at a time (sometimes, when necessary/appropriate adding a new ‘rule’ to replace a removed structure within the variable so performers have a sense of what to do).

First though, my instincts grasp for the performers to spend some time familiarising themselves with the text/sound by simply listening to it – I want us all to get a sense of it as a stand-alone element without the accompanying stage picture and action. What kind of story does it tell, what kind of statement does it make without its counterpart?

I also think this will give them time just to listen to themselves, to re-connect with what they are actually saying/expressing. I think they spend so much time thinking about cues that there isn’t always time to connect with the text in this way. And of course, sometimes the stage picture and the text/sound are supposed to be disparate.

My plan is scuppered as unfortunately Peter can’t make it so there’s no sound for the rehearsal. This, however, opens up another possibility. Creativity is often problem solving. I ask the performers to perform the stage picture without any sound. I want to see how much is being communicated emotionally with no text/sound or ambient noise, so see if there are any gaps where the sound track is compensating. I expect that they may falter but I am astounded when they work their way through it, barely missing a cue, and keeping very close to the usual timing.

And the performance quality is out of this world! There is so much tension in the silence and the stillness is torturous. Usually we hear words over the top of the picture but without these the family seems even more desperate and pointless.

I ask the performers to reflect on the exercise and they describe a sense of freedom and said they felt ‘safe’ and ‘in tune with the others’. Dean mentions that he feels a disconnect between his action and the text, particularly problematic as at times he interacts with it as if he is spontaneously. I suggest this might have something to do with a lack of note-taking or the fact that the ‘script’ (as in the record of the sound/text) is not utilised in rehearsals. Dean suggests he might ‘learn his lines’ to see if this helps. I wonder if the disconnect is also part of the reason the audience aren’t immediately clear on who is speaking.

Without the sound cues performers are not clear on exactly when things are done. Duncan describes taking a lot of peripheral cues. It seems that the sound/text has become more about cues for the performers than a means of expression/connection which it also certainly has the potential to be. I think that further analysis might be needed on intention and the relationship between thought, action and sound/text.

The next exercise is changing the picture, confining it. I replace the flimsy portable table I use for rehearsals with a much sturdier one that can be sat or stood upon, I sit the performers at the table and then I tape around them the parameters that they can’t move beyond. The sound variable remains exactly the same but the performers have to undertake the action that they’d normally take (with unavoidable adjustments – they’ll have to improvise these) within these confined conditions.

Again, a delightful outcome which is much more visually interesting. Initially the piece is quite static and table orientated and the claustrophobia of this is enhanced by the exercise. They are doing nothing in a much more interesting way and until they begin to try to move around the audience will not be aware of why they are acting like this which makes it even more eerie. And it’s a surprise when they do start to move! Then the audience will realise what the rules are.

The movement can then be more grotesquely impaired as the piece progresses building and building to show how much of an obstacle the confinement is to them. How they help/hinder each other and interact represents relationships.

Strangely the backs to audience element that has become necessary as they can only move in certain directions is very interesting/aesthetically pleasing and it’s great to see how much can be expressed through backs to audience. It’s awkward and silly, but necessary in the conditions they’re in. I film all this and am rather devastated to find that my laptop wipes rather than uploads the results from my camera. I did manage to capture a portion of it on my iphone which survived. You can see this on youtube by following this link.

I will explore the possibilities of this further. I ask how we can improve the movement, if Duncan, who has some experience in the area can suggest anything. Duncan feels that it’s necessary to establish what the desired end product is and find which moments to explore in that, he feels that the movements will come from that. Dean suggests exploring the possibilities of the new setting, what the possibilities for movement are within it. We all note that a distinction is required between what movements will be difficult for the performers in this setting and which would be difficult for the characters, especially in their ageing condition.

The next step is to strip away the set and props and to look at the performers in the space with the sound/text and nothing else. I give little direction, simply telling the performers they have the space and each other to work with (in character).

The results of this exercise are here and here

For me this was a completely blind approach. I wanted to see the performers do very little following Terry O’Connor’s feedback regarding facial expressions and eyes being enough and asking what it would be like if they performers just stood still.

The performers grasped for more than that as my instructions hadn’t been so explicit. They felt obliged to *do* something.

Initially the performers began facing the audience and walking towards them. It was instinctive for them to direct address, to search out a ‘relationship’. This I liked and thought well (you can see it in the initial stages of part one).

The performers then explored physical expression which wasn’t what I was looking for (though I felt pretty open to all possibilities at this stage). There are/were moments within this that are/were interesting and could be explored further. Interaction between Dean as Frank and Duncan as Arnold is/was telling of character and relationship in an abstract way. Harriet as Jean hangs back (literally! feeling that it didn’t feel right to get involved with Frank and Arnold) and her distance and presence in the background is resonant at times.

The performers are not entirely satisfied with the results and feel like it was a failed attempt I think. I reassure them that it’s likely if we put a bit of time and distance between the session and watching the recording back we might see things we’d overlooked – the equivalent of a writer putting a script ‘in a drawer’.

Dean feels that a physical warm up would be appropriate before an exercise such as this. I am less inclined to agree as I didn’t have an aim to explore physical expression. A workshop to establish the kind of aesthetic I am looking for might be appropriate. But sometimes it’s not this straightforward. When you are straying onto new territory having a workshop to facilitate what’s in your mind’s eye isn’t always so readily available. I feel that I’m having to create and adapt my own workshops. In fact the exercise was workshopping in many ways, but a workshop for the text rather than the performers skills/performance quality and the benefits of it were not as obvious to the performers as they were to me.

Duncan takes us through a Boal exercise where we copy each other’s movements simultaneously but because we’re all following each other we move as one. And then another where we have to stay completely still but observe (copy) those in the group who we view via our peripheral vision (ie can’t copy opposite person). Of course there are tiny movements which we pick up on and we all move very subtly and gently as a chorus. Great exercises for physical attunement.

(28^th April 10.30 until 15.30 with 45 mins lunch)

Statement

2011-04-05T17:26:00.003+01:00

I want to change the world. And I don't know how, or why, but I do know that the theatre work I'm doing is the way that I want to make that change.

'Art is longing' according to Hugh MacLeod . I know exactly what he means. Over the past few months I've been driven like an addict.

Something in me wants to communicate something big to everyone else.

And what that something is, I can't put into words, not into logical 'on the page' sense like a blog post anyway. The thing I want to communicate can only be expressed through a live performance, a blend of all the components of a theatre production.

That something is not logical or rational, it's instictive and lived. I won't even know what it is until I experience it for myself; get a sense of it one day in the rehearsal room.

And then an audience will experience it in their own unique way. That unspoken liveness will have passed from me, to the other creative folk in the team and then out into auditorium, to whoever has decided to be there.

And inside I have this MASSIVE feeling and these veiled yet incredibly clear visions in my minds eye and somehow I simply have to share them and pass them on.

Not doing this is not an option.

There. I've said it.

Feedback

2011-04-02T14:20:00.000+01:00

Questionnaires

I prepare a questionnaire in advance of the performance to gather audience feedback. I buy pens and put the questionnaires out on seats so they can’t miss them and have no excuse not to complete the questions!

It’s like setting an exam after the performance. I actually feel rather cruel putting the audience through this and surprised that so many are filled out. I think the way that the seating is configured actually makes it impossible to leave the theatre if someone on the row decides to stay seated.

The majority of feedback is positive, though there are clearly a few who do not take to the work but that’s to be expected I think. Apparently (and I can’t remember where I read this now...my bad) you can count on 30% of your audience not liking the work.

At Bradford Theatre in the Mill there was a comment that really worried me where folk didn’t seem to be aware that Arnold was/is a fully grown man. So, in the feedback I ask what the ages of the characters are. I needn’t have worried. Amusingly most people get Arnold’s age (40) almost spot on.

The questionnaire also asks what the audience are hearing – I’m keen to get feedback on audience’s interpretation of the soundtrack – perhaps they’ll make sense of it in a different way to me and help me find new possibilities. The responses show that our intentions are clear, new possibilities? Not quite as I hoped. Maybe more probing is required? Or maybe I need to spend some time thinking through my own ideas for possibilities.

Terry O’Connor from Forced Entertainment and Iain Bloomfield from Bradford Theatre in the Mill are in the audience and afterwards I go out into the foyer to have a discussion with them and hear their thoughts on the piece.

Iain says ‘you can give people more time speaking, be braver, let them say more’ – only now typing this comment do I suddenly get a jolt of inspiration about this…(I am keeping my inspiration schtum for now though – don’t want to give away all my secrets) at the time I didn’t process the comment (possibly due to adrenaline after the performance). Iain also feels that sonic difference between the voices would help pin them down to individuals, he says it took a while for his ears to adjust. I have lots of ideas about sound so this steer is welcome.

Iain really likes that I’ve held back on resolution/revelation, he feels that the audience will read what they like into it and will have a far richer experience of it in their own imaginations than with a prescribed resolution. Thank goodness someone understands my tendency for (apparently) ‘unfinished’ work…

Iain also notices the Beckettian feel to the work (I get this reference more than once for this showing actually…) which is a total compliment. I am so pleased I stood by my directorial vision and insisted on working back to the piece’s original intention/tone. I feel I’ve really achieved what I wanted to.

Iain suggests that compressing the space will give an even more Beckettian sense of claustrophobia. I really like this idea.

Terry joins us and I outline the process of making the work for her. Then we go back to feedback/comments.

Both Terry and Iain are agreed that paring back so much so that the focus is on minutia means that subtle becomes big. Therefore it’s not necessary to underline emotion as much as we have been doing. Finding the least we can get away with will be more interesting. Terry feels that faces and eyes are enough, she asks how the piece would feel if the performers just stood still.

Terry is very interested in the device and is/was surprised when the characters/performers don’t speak. Terry asks if representation of reality is really necessary? The reality of the setting goes against the unreality of the device. Terry thinks that it could be formally stricter with separate vision and sound.

I consider myself very fortunate to have had this feedback and my imagination is considerably stimulated by it. Within a few minutes I feel that my creative vision and practice has moved forward very significantly.

a few tweaks and touches

2011-04-01T13:25:00.000+01:00

There’s a very relaxed vibe, myself included. We’ve already done the tech.

At the tech Jonnie pointed out that the cues in the second half are not the same as in the first. It has a fluidity and is less interactive from the point of view of the sound operator. Jonnie urges me to address this, suggesting that a ‘cue to cue’ typical of a tech run would be of benefit.

So, prior to performance I work on tightening up these cues.

A cue to cue isn’t necessary but attention is given to the new material in the second half. Some of it is about timing, about close instruction for Peter who is operating the sound, and some of it is fixing punctuating activities for the performers, such as resetting the chair after it has been knocked down and the exact order with which certain actions should be carried out.

There is a lot of attention to detail required with Elephant in the Room, I think this is because of the complexities of it, the fact that the sound/voice/inner worlds and the on stage action are disparate. The performers need more steer at times. Sometimes I assume that they’ll settle into these things themselves, figure it out as they go along trusting their impulses and instincts– I don’t want to micro direct as I have tried this before and it was very frustrating but sometimes it seems that it is essential to do this and I can’t assume that the performers will automatically grasp for the best course of action.

The relaxed vibe halts abruptly when we get into the space and realise that there’s only an hour to reset the tech which has been repositioned and altered since our tech time...

The technical challenges prevent a pre-performance run and this impacts on the performance.

Peaks and troughs of tension amongst other things

2011-03-27T13:24:00.000+01:00

The aim for this session is to work on ‘performance’. Previously we’ve continued to make changes or generate material right up to the last minute so the performers are not always 100% clear on everything they are doing (ie the relationship with audience or the correlation of sound/action/thought – quite complex stuff) so this is time to attend to the areas where performers feel less sure and time to run the work so the performers get the benefit of repeating the work over and over again.

We begin by attending to tension. We’ve established the relationships and the blocking and the status shifts but the atmosphere isn’t always ‘right’ and the performers are on their own journeys rather than sharing a more collective one. The ‘way in’ to establishing the tension is to look at the peaks and troughs. The peaks are very much punctuated throughout, the bang of a hand on the table, a series of building glances to the audience, clock chimes followed by standing, an escape attempt, etc. etc. The troughs follow after the peaks so we search through the text, identifying the peaks (sometimes peaks come at slightly different times for each character – sometimes characters peak alone) and the dissipation of tension after these peaks.

Then we run the piece. It is a very solid and strong run.

The performers request that they spend some time running the work. I agree to hold back on note giving so that they have space to simply perform. The resulting runs are nowhere near as strong. I query this and the performers say that they are tired from the first very solid run and can’t reach the same level of intensity every time because of that.

Personally I think it’s because the runs are without an aim or an objective; I’ve taken the pressure off by agreeing not to give notes. I’m not sure how the performers can be happy or glean anything from running the work at a lesser standard once they’ve achieved something very strong initially or why they don’t strive to achieve the same level every time. It’s a bit of a mystery to me really but I give the performers the benefit of the doubt as I’m not personally delivering the performance so I don’t know what it feels like, how much energy is required to perform it or what the potential benefits are to the perfomer of simply running through at a slightly lesser level. Perhaps, as I continue along my journey I will find that this is typical and that it’s natural to also have peaks and troughs in energy and performance quality?

Movement workshop and new material

2011-03-13T13:22:00.000Z

I get chance to work through the workshop that I had prepared for Friday 11th but hadn’t had chance to implement. We look at Laban’s Efforts and attribute animal qualities to the characters.

I’ve never had any movement training or been trained in how to direct/workshop ‘movement’ so the results of my suggestions to explore all of Laban’s different types of movement and find which fit the characters and their circumstances the best are a delightful surprise.

The movements speak for themselves. In the main the movement types most appropriate really stand out. The dynamics produced by the less appropriate/obvious movement types – like floating – are also very pleasing in other ways and almost offer an ‘insight’ in to unseen faculties of the characters.

The animal qualities exercise is less complex than the Laban exercise but brings out another range of tones and motivations. Duncan selects spider movements for Arnold, seeing that he is very precise in his movements and attuned to his environment do to the scrutiny of his parent’s attention and his prolonged and consistent exposure to his home and his parents. Dean feels that an ant best represents Frank and moves with purpose and order while he ‘senses’ the room and the objects in it using his hands to lightly feel his way around. Very appropriate for a military man (Frank is ex-military) I feel and I like the ‘sensing’, it seems appropriately over the top, bordering on OCD. Harriet moves in a bird-like way which is appropriate for her fragility and the ‘programmed’/habitual nature of her action.

The rest of the session is taken up working through the new blocking. I provide the new script and we read through it. Disappointingly not all of the performers do not embrace the paper scripts and start to use them with notes etc. I really must impress note taking in rehearsals in future.

I’m surprised that what was so simple to adjust on the page takes such a long time to implement practicality. Every difference has had a knock on effect on sound and each of the characters action. The sound is adjusted during the session too which takes time. We work through it all in order, making the changes to sound and blocking as we go along.

By the end of the session I’m satisfied with results and the changes that have been made have really refined the raw material we generated at Bradford Theatre in the Mill.

briefly I am ‘just’ a writer again...

2011-03-12T13:14:00.009Z

In advance of the next rehearsal I prepare the next draft of the script. The script (ie on the page document) has become more important for a number of reasons. Firstly because we now have a DSM book that wasn’t in place before as Jonnie is delegating the sound operation to Peter, his assistant and secondly because I’ve realised that the performers need it more than they realise they do and I want them to all have a copy to work from/make notes on.

Usually the changes I have deemed necessary (subtle ones at this point due to time constraints and introduction of new personnel and the pressure of the next performance dates) would take place in the rehearsal room itself but because an up to date copy of the paper script is necessary I go to the script and think about the changes from a textual perspective.

I re-connect with my writerly self. It’s very liberating and reassuring. We’ve been working ‘live’ and off the script. There’s been very little textual analysis. I’ve been prevented from connecting with the words on the page as I usually would. I haven’t been through the kind of processes I’m used to where I access my imagination and my internal world and tap into a vision of the work.

Suddenly I can do that again and inside my head is so rich because I know the cast so well, I can picture them in my mind. It’s brilliant!

And it’s so simple. I can erase words and chunks and sections and move things about without the pressure of having to ‘perform’ as director and explain myself to the performers or work through it all with them in a practical way when they feel the pressures and unknown-ness of change making.

I refine and shape the piece (mainly holding off the ‘reveal’ which is currently misplaced and needs to come at the end) and feel confident and prepared for rehearsal next day (especially important after challenge from previous rehearsals – one where I was ill and another where I experienced resistance).

Getting everyone on the same page

2011-03-11T13:09:00.012Z

Having established that Duncan would benefit from reading the transcripts from all previous improvisations I go back through my files and find all text generated at all stages of EITR, from the casting session where the characters existed as monologues; to the first ever ‘scene’ where Arnold was given a straight jacket jumper as a birthday gift in a perpetual birthday situation as he attempted to leave home; through to various abandoned attempts at Berkoffesque verse and all the transcripts of improvisation that I had typed up.

I had experienced resistance from a performer to rehearsal that involved a lot of textual analysis without any practical/physical activity but I felt it was essential to start off in this way. I had a practical exercise planned to follow the textual analysis but actually reading through everything together took numerous hours so we didn’t make it away from the table and the script work.

My aim (as outlined in post dated 21st February): I want to re-set the tone to re-discover the misery and desperation we established initially.

So going right back to the beginning and following the work’s development in tone as recorded on the page is a very sensible move. One of the team members feels that ‘the way it is now is the way that it is’ but I am frustrated by this. I have a clearer vision of how the piece will work best and I’m not happy to drift off from something that was very successful initially but seems to have been lost. It’s at this point that I realise that notes must be taken, even if we’re not working on scripts, so that performers don’t drift off from what we worked hard to put into place.

We read through all of the text, contextualising various parts of it for Duncan so he understands some of the decisions to move away from or retain certain features.

I brief the performers on my desire to return to the absurd tone that we had achieved previously. I articulate that it might not be 100% possible, I don’t want them to feel my objective is unrealistic, but I let them know that I’m going to have a damn good try to get it back to that place again and that I feel as director with a vision as motivating as mine that it’s my duty to do so.

Then we discuss what has changed. One of the first things that is noticed is that Frank’s character seems to have shifted and that this has impacted on the tone. I request that we return to a former Frank, a ‘man under siege’ who is at breaking point from trying to keep his family under control. There is some resistance to this, ‘boring’ and ‘archetype’ are words that are used in protest but as I see it without this quality in Frank the other two characters don’t have the resistive force they need to work against and the tension is lost. I stand firm. I’m glad I did.

The rest of the session is spent re-recording Arnold’s voice over in Duncan’s own voice. It’s great fun directing Duncan in this context. When we put the original voice over together it was under duress in a very tight time frame and the resulting soundtrack was an edit of recorded improvisation from which we edited. Working with Duncan I’m able to suggest tones and attitudes and the results are delightful.

Where I realise that it’s virtually impossible to carry out role of director when feeling unwell and vow never to go into a rehearsal room un-prepared again

2011-03-06T13:01:00.022Z

I am ill. Not sure with what but I’m exhausted and barely functioning so the lengthy rehearsal ahead seems very daunting. I can’t gather my thoughts and haven’t had huge amount of time since last rehearsal to really plan how to proceed.

As I observed the performance at Bradford Theatre in the Mill I came to conclusions about possible lines of enquiry for the future. My gut instinct is reaching towards something more essential/expressionistic – see post dated 21st February: I feel the piece needs to be taken in hand, to be pared back to something more essential, less wordy, more ‘soundy’ with performances more deeply resonant and darker...

Rattling around as an unformed notion is the idea that some kind of improvisation can take place between the performers and the sound we’ve already recorded. That we can play the sound as it is currently recorded/structured and that the performers can start to experiment with what happens on stage. The story should still stand even if the on stage action/stage picture is quite different. However, in my depleted state and with the pressure of the deadline on 1st & 2nd April and a whole host of other priorities to attend to I briefly mention this but don’t push the issue.

There’s an awful feeling of chaos in the room, for me it's awful anyway, a reflection of my own chaos and it feels like a failing. I need time and space to think, to pull myself together. I knew I was feeling under the weather but I hadn’t realised that I would be so paralysed and slow in my thinking. If I’d realised earlier that I wasn’t able to function I would have telephoned in sick and cancelled the rehearsal. Or if I’d known my brain would stop working I have planned the session so it was idiot-proof (with me being the idiot I hasten to add) and could run without me.

As I’m trying to gather my thoughts the team start to chat and figure their own way to make use of the time. So, although I am berating myself for being unable to function, the team are taking responsibility in a way that they hadn’t had to before. I recognise this as a positive.

Jonnie picks up the improvisation strand that I had briefly mooted and encourages us all to try it out. His idea is to improvise with the sound as the performers are feeling unsure (possibly due to my own unsurity) about changing the stage picture without guidance. I suggest that they could venture beyond the physical structure so long as they returned to it further along the line for the next bit of action and this seems like a happier compromise.

Of course the results of this are really exciting. I regret at that moment not having any means to record what I see. It is all the things I was hoping to achieve – essential and pared back. Jonnie heavily edits the sound so that we hear phrases and words rather than chunks of text. It works really well.

After this success Jonnie gently scolds me ‘you see, trust your process’.

I realise we are on really interesting ground but don’t want to move any further with this at this stage. If I can’t record the improvisations I can’t reconstruct the parts that work particularly well at a later date. I do feel considerably boosted however and I am able to conclude that this is a very interesting line of enquiry but for now we should work on ‘blending’ the performance styles and addressing the status/parity issues that are resulting from having a new Arnold. The rest of the day is spent focussing on ‘the master scene’ and progress is happily made despite my ill health.

Getting to know you

2011-03-04T12:55:00.008Z

This is the first time we met Duncan, our new Arnold. I admit, I am nervous. I know Duncan by reputation as being an experienced actor, even having worked for the RSC at one point. We do icebreaking games and a quick ‘getting to know you’ introduction. Then we tackle the blocking which I expected to take ages but doesn’t.

in the past, as there aren’t any spoken words on stage, we’ve scrutinised motivations behind the onstage action and the relationship with the audience, the soundtrack and the other characters. We don’t attempt to tackle this at this stage. It doesn’t actually seem hugely necessary, perhaps this is due to Duncan’s experience and the speed with which he picks up the structure of the work or perhaps it’s because of the role he’s playing? ‘Arnold’ is the most stationary of the characters with the least audible ‘voice’ though this by no means says he has little to ‘say’ or express.

Again, I become a little nervous. What Duncan brings is quite different to what Pete was doing before him. I prefer to bring a performance out of a performer rather than impose an aesthetic but to accommodate the change in energy for Arnold would mean significant changes for Jean and Frank and I’m not sure I want to make these changes. So it all looks a bit odd and disjointed and rough around the edges. On the other hand it’s reassuring to feel in safe hands with Duncan.

How will I blend the differences of the performance energies I’m seeing? Duncan’s energy is very strong and assured but the character of Arnold has previously had a certain submissive/passive feel to it that was very particular to Pete who was playing the role...

Reflections on Bradford Theatre in the Mill

2011-02-21T14:58:00.001Z

The performance at Bradford goes smoothly. Nothing is missed or wrong footed on stage although I realise I have forgotten to organise music for the pre-set and it’s such a wild and windy night that it’s hard to differentiate between the soundtrack and the noise outside.

The Mill space is cavernous and the sound should have been checked more diligently as the acoustics are absorbing the noise. My bad. As well as Frank Jnr. the soundscape has been a little neglected over the past week and one of the things I’ll take away from the showing is the need to build more sound in and more time to develop sound through the process (and during time when the performers are not present I think).

Harriet (Jean) and Arnold (Pete) give exciting performances that I haven’t seen in rehearsal so far. The presence of the audience really brings a new dynamic. The type of auditorium/seating and the shape of the theatre changes the performance. Harriet instinctively grasps for a larger, more externalised performance at Bradford Theatre in the Mill. It makes sense, as the piece is essentially a direct address to the audience that they play their part

Audience feedback is reassuring. We’ve recorded the feedback and I may transcribe & publish it at some point but for now I offer an overview.

The response from the audience is generally warm and their answers to the questions I have prepared show that what we intended is coming across. It’s encouraging that their response to ‘how much can you take – how long can you sit through this?’ is that they can take more of it. A lot more in some cases. And they’re satisfied that no-one should ever speak on stage.

Some people feel that it would be interesting to see the family taken out of their comfort zone (ie away from their home and out into the world they fear). Another audience member is adamant that they should remain in their home. Someone mentions forces coming in from outside. We’ve improvised before where there was a letter received. I’ve toyed with the idea of bringing a telephone into it…I’m really interested in this as an avenue for exploration.

When asked ‘what are you hearing?’ one audience member says ‘mental health’. With hindsight I should have probed further into this as there’s still slight concern that Arnold might be perceived as being ill in some way, and this is not our intention.

Another concern is that it’s not clear that Arnold is an adult.

And I continue to receive thoughts by email/facebook after the event. I can’t describe how flattering it is to get this kind of correspondence! And there’s some really useful feedback in these exchanges – things that have come to mind after the event, things that folk didn’t feel entirely comfortable saying at the feedback session. I get a sense of what lingers…

And my own personal feedback?

Lack of cohesion comes to mind. To me it feels a bit thrown together. I’m disappointed to have lost the dark edge/feel to the piece; the new material has a different tone. I want to re-set the tone to re-discover the misery and desperation we established initially.

We’ve achieved a lot in a week, in terms of what we’ve created and what we’ve learned. The week has gone well in many ways, but I have yielded to the pressure of the showing at the end of the week felt duty bound to make work. Time constraints have compromised quality of the outcome a little. We’ve had to put it together quickly.

I feel the piece needs to be taken in hand, to be pared back to something more essential. Less wordy, more soundy with performances more deeply resonant and darker, it needs to be more unhappy… We’re copping out a bit by going down the comedy route…

The issues of Arnold appearing mentally/physically ill in some way need to be ironed out, and his age and the tragedy of his circumstances need to be more clearly communicated. Which ever messages we are giving out need to be finely tuned, to make sure we’re not accidentally saying things we oughtn’t be.

Something in me wants to see something more abstract. The ‘distraction scene’ where the devices in the home torment the family are most interesting to me. There could be more of this and of these.

How little can we get away with telling of this story? Can we move it into more abstract/artsy/installation territory? Can we retain the story telling? Should we try to take this route?

The ‘documentary’ aspects of it, the fact the audience are addressed and are acknowledged in their watching, like an intrusion works, but could we pare the words back and ‘tell’ much less?

I can hear the documentary as more of a background echo…I can hear the sound layer upon layer...many, many clocks. I can see this piece as being terribly uncomfortable to watch…

Day five at Bradford Theatre in the Mill

2011-02-04T10:39:00.003Z

We start our day with a trip to get supplies. Personally I find it very difficult to eat when I’m nervous/excited in advance of a performance so it’s really important to have small things that are easy to consume and digest within reach during the last leg of our preparation.
The whole team seems to appreciate the opportunity to stock up (Dean’s request for scotch eggs and strawberry milkshake causes no end of amusement – who knows why). Maybe our run out to the supermarket seems like an insignificant detail but those of us who head over Bradford Uni campus to Sainsbury’s approach it like pioneers on a mission and we walk with a certain swagger. We’re charged with a very focussed energy and we know that what we're doing is the foundation for the day ahead of us.

Working on the final scene

Once we return to the space we crack on with a warm up and then begin to work on fixing the scene which was left untouched the previous night. This takes up a couple of hours. We work at a steady moderate pace but I am constantly watching the time.

Generally there’s a lot of discussion throughout our process. Sometimes I am glad of it, other times less so. It’s easy to slip off on a tangent and to get snagged up on detail and when we’re working to tight deadlines it can be challenging. The discussion tends to be motivation/intention of action and the relationship between the action and the soundtrack. Often this brings up character/relationship issues. The challenge comes when, as director, I’m trying to structure the day and am very aware of what needs to happen when and how much time we really have to do what is necessary. However, as director, it’s also my job to make sure that the performers are tuned in to their motivations/intentions/character/relationships and as writer I sometimes need to furnish them with what they need to access their characters and relationships. In fact, without this detail the structure of the action can not be established. It’s a balancing act. Thankfully we manage to pull it off and fit in a run of everything new that we’ve established this week.

Next we move into tech time. Ivan has already rigged and plotted the lights but they need focussing and then we need to work out the states and the cues. We’ve set aside three hours to do this work. Jonnie takes the lead on directing this part of the process. I know little about lighting and we’ve never lit Elephant in the Room before so I’m pretty redundant (I could do with brushing up on this stuff actually – as director I should have a clearer idea of what I want and how to communicate that to lighting designer/technical support team).

We/I were/was expecting the lighting to be pretty simple so I’m surprised at the level of detail that we’re working with. I’m also delighted by the elegant results of working with this level of detail. The lighting offers a fluid movement around the space and helps establish were the focus should be on the stage (which will avoid a problem that occurred in a previous showing where it wasn’t always clear who was ‘talking’).

Dean & Frank Jnr standing in place as lights are focussed

In my imagination I had visualised something much more expressionistic/abstract with the lighting (Bradford Theatre in the Mill has a low ceiling so the lights are quite close to the performers which gives a kind of down lighting rather than more gentle angles onto them) but what I’m seeing isn’t what I visualised (though I very much like what I’m seeing – I just don’t know much about lighting so my expectations were naïve – plus, the expressionist/abstract lighting wouldn’t have shown enough facially and this is essential for the non-verbal communication). I check in with Ivan to ask him if what we’re doing is what he had planned as I’m conscious of the amount of time we have remaining and feel it’s really important to fit a tech run in.

My thinking is that once the states have been established (which is quite time consuming) the tech work will pick up a pace towards the end. Ivan confirms that this will be the case but that we’ll use the full three hours set aside for tech to finish working with this level of detail on the lighting. This means we’ll need to factor in a tech run outside of the tech time. Thankfully there’s room in the schedule to accommodate this.

The results of the whole weeks work culminate in the tech run. It really is a pleasure.

Next, it’s preparation for the audience feedback session after the performance. It’s important to have questions for the audience so that we get what we want from the feedback. It’s also important to frame the questions so that they generate debate and don’t intimidate the audience. Open questions that don’t use alienating jargon.

Some of our questions are What are you hearing? Why don’t the family speak to each other? What is happening in the ‘shake and vac scene’? It feels a little bit like setting an exam…

Another hour passes and the house opens to the audience…

Day four at Bradford Theatre in the Mill

2011-02-03T10:11:00.008Z

I seem to be missing a film of a really good impromptu ‘speech’ from Arnold recorded on day one on my camera with list of rules – in the future I’d like to get much more of a handle on how everything is recorded and where everything is stored. I am frustrated by this. More and more Arnold is separated off from Frank and Jean and operates alone. Hence the speeches/monologues/solo action. It seems that we’ll have to settle on the one solo for now (shake and vac solo).

I find text to use for the two remaining scenes that we’re planning to build (birthday gifts scene and distractions scene).

As I talk the text through the performers a structure/order organically emerges (Thanks Dean who had the vision on how this would work best of all).

As we’re waiting for various sound editing to take place we discuss a few things...

Jonnie working on the sound

How do we handle the absence of Frank Jnr? This week we haven’t given it much thought. He’s almost begun to disappear, become forgotten/irrelevant?

Realise it’s very painful territory. The family want to remember a past, to hark back to happier times, but their memories, even the happy ones, remind them of what they’ve lost...are they therefore tragic?

We have frequently spoken about bringing the family photographs into the work. We ask how we can we work 2d images into the piece? We agree that we need to establish what purpose the still images serve (either performed on stage or projected) to the work – what is the device for? Where do they fit? How can we use them? Something to work with in the future as we won’t be able to make any more new material at BTiM this week.

The day is very sound orientated and has a low energy/steady feel to it. This feels ‘right’ as we’re a day in advance of performance so need to conserve energy for that and yesterday was an exciting peak from which we are recovering. We record the remaining necessary scenes and prepare to show them in rough shape to Ivan and Hannah who are coming at 4pm.

We block through entrances and exits and movements across the space, the intentions behind the action and decide when we’re juxtaposing the text and when we’re more harmonious with it.

When we show the rough shape it becomes apparent where the tightening up is required, and the further layer of detail that needs to be worked in. Towards the end of the presentation I find that I am calling out directions to the performers.

Ivan’s enthusiastic response is a boost and he has lots of lighting ideas including lighting the picture of Frank Jnr throughout (a solution to our problem of him having faded out of our thinking). Hannah likes the explosive ending.

Frank Jnr in lighting

We’re through to the end of the day now and planning on continuing into the evening to work in more detail and start to think about performance. We’re tired and losing our concentration so I’m slightly concerned that doing detailed work at this stage might be counter productive but we try it out and find a second wind for a few more hours which is enough to transform three of the four new scenes.

I am very satisfied how the performance space/set has opened up. Dean has frequently commented on the restrictiveness of the table and chairs around which the family spend so much of their time and for a while this did seem like a problem. The new scenes see the table and chairs used in a new way and alow the performers to interact with them differently.

I am very clear in my direction of how the performers move around the space. They moved so little before that it wasn’t an issue but now it’s really important that they move through the space in the right way as there’s quite a lot of coming and going. The movement gives a sense of the rooms they occupy. I’ve often been told that diagonals work well in the theatre but we are using a lot of right angles.

Working on the movement like this create a really wide variety of stage ‘pictures’, a contrast to the very static master scene (ie the original 10 minutes).

We stop working before we’ve reached the end. There’s one last large scene to work on and I know that it will take less time for us to fix this if we come to it fresh in the morning.

P.S. Hyperventilating = manic

Day three at Bradford Theatre in the Mill

2011-02-02T17:03:00.003Z

In the morning before I travel to Bradford I spend a little time transcribing the film and audio we've captured over the past two days during improv work. I am suitably inspired. There’s a great deal of subtlety and it’s clear that we’re all on the same page regarding the family and what’s going on with them. I am a little concerned about the difference in tone however. We don't seem to have been able to get back to where we were when we last worked on the piece.

I talk to the performers about what is happening. I explain that I feel it's time to create a text and that I haven't had chance to do this so far (definitely factor this into future process). The team agree that I should spend my time developing the script today.

We have some discussion regarding the difference in tone and I express my desire to re-discover the tension we had before. Dean points out that allowing them to talk/speak in improvisations is part of the reason that we're losing the emotional intensity that builds when they are silenced...

Tricky, as without the impro where they do speak, we wouldn't have any text at all...however, an interesting revelation to move forward with.

And curious as yesterday it seemed essential that we have a text to reach a level of emotional intensity (expressed verbally/vocally)…

We also note that the lack of soundtrack is a factor in the sense that we’re not achieving the same atmospheres we were getting before.

I delegate to Jonnie and the team, asking them to ‘really take it by the balls’ and to revisit the original 10 minutes that we’ve created, to try to find their way back to where we were when we started out.

I leave the performers alone and transcribe some more of the film/audio. I rough out a couple of scenes from the transcript by editing and selecting from it. Then I return to the rehearsal room.

The performers feel re-grounded having re-visited the original 10 minutes (directed by Jonnie as I was out of the room working on the text). This, combined with my relief at producing some script, the tension in the room breaks and we hit a creative peak.

Suddenly the whole team gushes forth with ideas...the atmosphere is electric.

Dean realises that if the audience could really hear what’s inside his head we’d be able to hear him reading the knitting pattern. We decide to record this to include in a scene that explores diversions...

I am specific about a secret hidden depth in Jean (too secret to mention here).

I mention that I imagine Arnold dancing/raving (having picked up bits of popular culture from what he’s seen on tv).

We ask what Arnold’s diversions might sound like and we think that he’d default to his recollections of what he sees on tv - adverts.

This feels like a break through for Arnold. We’ve found a way of freeing him and given him a means of expression.

We spend the rest of the day doing bits and pieces of sound work in preparation for the work on the stage action the following day.

Day two at Bradford Theatre in the Mill

2011-02-01T21:04:00.001Z

Lessons learned

Be wary of voids in the rehearsal room.

Void characters – don’t let them be voids for long periods. Effective in very small controlled portions.

Void set/furnishings (table – maybe need it for final performance but maybe shift it away in rehearsals – maybe take chairs away too – currently sucking, draining energy)

Void sound/atmosphere – silence sucks the energy out of the space. Want to incorporate music into the rehearsal room

Warm ups important to set the tone at the beginning of the day. I feel it’s important as team leader to participate in them but at the moment am too busy doing other stuff (setting up & working on script).

Need to factor scripting time into the process – time to review footage and to extract script from it.

Questions asked so far (keep in mind for feedback after the showing)

How can we blend old material with new material?

How can we access the characters internal worlds?

How can we take the characters to their breaking point?

How can we re-establish what we had without losing what we have got now?

How do we rediscover the emotional core of the characters?

Tuesday

Preparation for long form improvisations. Family items/birthday/Christmas gifts wrapped up so actors can be surprised and give a spontaneous response.

Not entirely successful. You can try to plan/prepare but have to sign-post the long-form improv to get what you want. I let the performers long-form to discover what they need to and try to capture what they say as they improvise in an attempt to create a transcript that I can draw from.

Transcribing during improviation

I’m still not getting to their internal worlds, i’m still seeing safe and comfortable and I realise that what I’m asking the performers to do is very difficult. I’m asking them to access challenging emotional places while at the same time thinking of words to express this.

I realise that a text is required to liberate the performers so I compile one from the transcript of the first improvisation of the day (which is supposed to be birthday/Christmas but doesn’t turn out that way as I haven’t made my instructions clear enough. I’d prefer to work in a less invasive way but it seems that I’m going to have to be more ‘heavy handed’ with my interjections to make sure the impros go in the direction I want them to. My observations of the impro going in the direction I don’t want them to go in are useful as it makes me think about what would work instead and I see opportunities missed but it’s a shame that we’re not yet in a place where we understand more instinctively where to go with this stuff. An area for improvement for the company. Perhaps something which will come with time and experience of working together.)

I provide the script and ask the performers to use the words to express their deep inner monologue/dialogue. Our aim is to record the resulting ‘stream of consciousness’ and to lay all the tracks over each other so we have a cacophony of chaos which we can use as part of the soundtrack to demonstrate ‘the noise in their head’.

I push for the collection of this material at this stage, I realise its an opportunity for the characters to find necessary depth and other layers and its also an opportunity to capture something tangible to work with.

We record and film the stream of consciousnesses. It is an effective activity and we achieve our aims.

Next we go back to the long form improvisation, this time with more clear instruction on how to use the stimulus (props wrapped up as surprises). The resulting improvisation is lively and we see moments with the emotional intensity that we achieved in the stream of consciousness.

Then we hotseat /interview each character about what they’ve just experienced.

I have the text of the dialogue exchanges between the characters as they improvise and the text of the interviews which offer a pool of words and expressions which can be crafted into the documentary/Wallace and Grommit-esque tone sound track to play over the silent on-stage action.

We go back to long form improvisation, again, with clear instruction but we seem to have lost the emotional intensity and we’ve moved into safe territory.

It seems that all the emotional intensity at the beginning of the day has really exhausted the performers.

We call it a day...

My intention is to work through the film and sound footage to gather together material for a script once I get home. It is 8pm by the time i sit down to work and really it is too late.

I realise that my time in the space tomorrow must be spent creating the text, that this is what the performers need to move forward. We need to develop the sound to lay over the on stage action, then work on the on stage action...

Day one at Theatre in the Mill

2011-01-31T20:21:00.001Z

We begin by loosely scheduling the week ahead, establishing start and finish times and deciding when we should identify which material to show on Friday evening and when we'll rehearse and tech it.

I outline three areas for exploration/development - family photographs, family occasions and further development of the possibilities of sound.

The plan is to work in an open way in the mornings, to generate material and then as the day progresses to set this down (sound and script) and then tighten it up towards the end of the day.

We realise that the method we used in the first phase of the project where I transcribed all the improvisation would not be feasible. We have other means to record the impro but I'm sorry to lose the text based/wordy 'on the page' part of the process as editing this was a very satisfying way of generating text. However, there simply isn't enough time.

The priority for the day is to re-establish what we already know about the family through spontaneous hot-seating. Some of the more detailed back story work is new to Harriet who came to the team after the early devising process. This is the first time we've delved in to her interpretation of the character.

First we warm up and do some group storytelling. Then we move on to a game of interview/expert. These games are to help with spontaneity in advance of the hot-seating.

Then we get back into character. We focus on the physicality of each character, working through which part of the body leads, how a person with ageing body moves (which bits are stiff/weak/seized up) and how the body is changed through life time's activities. We look at the speed and motivation of movement and think about relative speed ; an older person may be motivated to move quickly but not be as swift as an equally motivated youth. The movement was filmed for closer scrutiny.

We move on to the hot seat exercise. We spend around 25 mins with each character. Pete playing Arnold yields easily, the secret life of his character is rich. I get the kinds of words and expression that I hoped for from Arnold.

Dean as Frank and Harriet as Jean are much tougher to crack and although we explore pasts and moments we're not making such easy progress as we are with Arnold. I decide to raise this to establish what the performer's experience of the exercise has been.

The performers feel that the characters are far too 'buttoned up'/in deep denial/socially conditioned to open up to a stranger so their answers are evasive. It's instinctive for them to behave this way.

I explain that I want to access Frank and Jean's internal worlds, to find their inner truths and delve deeply below the surface. I want to know what their internal voices are saying...

Performers feel that more time is needed to improvise in character before we can access this deeper level. We're planning long form improvisation which should facilitate this.

By the end of the session I am quite confident that it really is virtually impossible to plan this stuff. I'm glad I have a rough strategy and am clear on what needs to be explored and achieved but really it's fairly unpredictable...I think the key is being prepared for this...

Bagshaw family photographs

2011-01-23T21:26:00.000Z

The aim of the day is to create some family photographs for the Bagshaw family. These should resonate our findings from the previous day where we have explored the conventions of this kind of photography.

Following a warm up I ask the performers to create freeze frame tableaux of 'kodak moments' in the Bagshaw's life. Jonnie and myself leave the performers alone to create the images.

When we re-enter the room we are shown the images and we have to guess from the performers physicality and body language what is happening in the photograph (hence the need for the 'box of emotions' exercise on the day before). My instruction to the performers prior to them undertaking the exercise is to focus on the aesthetics of the tableaux rather than the story behind it. They have exceeded my expectations, I was looking for something quite superficial in the first instance but the performers present well thought out tableaux rich with character/relationship politics. Jonnie and I enjoy working out what is going on in each 'picture'. It's not easy but we are clearly establishing a shared understanding of the language of family photographs because there are recognisable features that we can identify.

(I'm still interested in establishing some very superficial tableaux and I think the way to restrict the thought behind it might be to stay in the room as they are constructed rather than giving the performers space to discuss. Also I could restrict the amount of time to set up the tableaux.)

In the interests of recording process as well as capturing the 'pictures' we photograph the results.

The next phase of the workshop is to establish the circumstances leading up to the moments captured in the 'picture'. Again Jonnie and myself leave the room so that the family can construct a shared understanding of the back story.

When we return to the room we re-assemble the tableaux/pictures and 'hot-seat' the performers (collectively) as they hold the still poses. We keep them in the poses because it is likely that we'll present the material in this way as part of the performance - as a speaking photograph (with the speech pre-recorded and played over the live 'picture') and because it gives the speech a stilted, stiff quality that we like. Jonnie records the hot-seating with his sound equipment. He moves the mic around to indicate who should speak next. He gives the performers plenty of time and space to think. His decision of who to interview/hot-seat when is instinctive. I also ask questions as in the traditional hot-seating context to probe into the back story.

Recording the hot-seating means that we capture the details, we also have sound bites that we could potentially use in performance to play over the live 'picture'.

It becomes apparent that we need to do more work on Harriet's interpretation of Jean and how she speaks as we have used the recording from when we had Tanja in the cast to date.

The family dynamic is much lighter during this workshop and this also needs to be re-established as we move forward...

Family photographs

2011-01-22T21:22:00.001Z

On Friday 4th February 2011 we will be showing Elephant in the Room as a work in progress at Bradford Theatre in the Mill : http://www.brad.ac.uk/theatre/watch-us/performances/open-space/elephant/

The performance starts at 7.30 and the audience will be invited to participated in feedback after the showing to help develop the work further. We're trying out lots of new things and we'll need the audiences suggestions/thoughts/opinions to finalise how the new material will merge into what we had before when the show was ten minutes long.

Preparation work begins in advance of our Bradford Theatre in the Mill time. We start with exploring family photos as stimulus...

Family photographs are the best possible starting point for three good reasons :

One of the first things which came to mind when I thought about 'the family' as a theme were family albums.
The inspiration for EITR as it stands (in its 10 minute long incarnation) is a play by Jean Claude Van Itallie called Photographs : Mary and Howard which features photographs that speak.
One of the 'games' we used to generate the text for the first incarnation of EITR involved assembling a family portrait.

So, it seems sensible to explore the genre of the family photograph so that we are well familiar with it and can draw upon our findings. We work through our family photograph albums, looking for common ground.

We notice numerous conventions and the politics of the variations within these conventions.

Holiday pictures, couples camping in the 1970s, shots of scenery that are meaningless to anyone who wasn't on the trip at the time.

Shots of people standing by open expanses of water or green grassy runs - capturing the moment where the photograph’s incumbent must have felt particularly ‘free’ or exhilarated to be in that open space.

All the photographs from a long time ago are of ‘events’ or ‘moments’ and it is seen that in the past this was the general feeling of the purpose of taking photographs. Sometimes the photographs themselves we’re/are the events.

Everyone seems happy in the photographs (with the emphasis on seems)

We realise that some photographs have different resonance for us as we know events that followed. Photographs offer nostalgia, images of how things used to be, before things changed. Those changes could have been for the better or otherwise. Couples who were once in love, now estranged, families who were once united, now disrupted (for a variety of reasons) and dispersed. We feel that the people in the photographs seem vulnerable for this reason. They don’t know what lies ahead.

The yellowing shades of the fading photographs making things into memories.

Windy seaside shots (dressing accordingly). Grinning, slightly sunburnt, over-sized cocktail shots. Photos of newly bought cars in the 1980s. Babies in the snow and then shots of snowmen in the years that follow. Feeding the ducks and babies being bathed. Children of all ages interacting with animals and looking smug on over and underside kiddie vehicles and rides.Old folk looking smug on over and undersized vehicles and rides! Christmas morning shots in pyjamas and dressing gowns. Teddy bears tea parties and picnics in the garden. Children sitting on Santa’s knee in varying degrees of discomfort. Grown ups humouring children by behaving like children themselves or allowing the children to be the grown up.

Weddings, birthdays.family holidays, sleep overs, fancy dress parties and parades.

We notice how gradually the children disappear out of the pictures and how certain people are there repeatedly and then cease to be there. We notice how certain phases and periods are undocumented. We ask who the photographer is. We notice that sometimes the photographer has a presence.

Politics of variation are particularly prominent in formal pictures like wedding photographs…one wedding differs from the next – what were the circumstances behind them that made them so? Divorce, pre-marital pregnancy – perhaps back then only certain churches would take weddings such as these or perhaps a registry office would be more appropriate…actually big fussy weddings aren’t so common…

There are certain aesthetic resonances – the brightly and busily patterned carpets and furnishings of our parent’s homes, activities in Church halls and village halls and the fabric of these. The fabrics and fashion choices came up quite a lot for some reason. And brands and objects that we all remember.

More often than not the photographs taken outside were on a bright sunny day.

'Family' objects as stimulus

2011-01-22T21:12:00.001Z

We look at objects that remind us of our own families and things that could be particular to the characters of EITR or to their family as a whole.

Non electric carpet cleaners – my choice because I can see Mr or Mrs Bagshaw having a relationship with immaculately crumb free carpets.

Jar of jam – my choice (thanks mum) because reminds me of the breakfast table and how relaxed/tired people are in the mornings so a different kind of interaction, a very different quality than in the tense/tired evenings.

Cuff-links – gifts from Dean's family friends who had since lost contact, various other trinkets given as gifts from family members. One of a pair remaining, linked to the memory of the family friend now estranged....All together in a little leather box with a vintage feel. Memories of bedrooms and dressing tables and the alien somehow forbidden feeling of going into the bedroom of a grown up…

Vintage glasses – NHS feel to them, nostalgic, northern, seen in photographs.

Pipe – reminds of fathers and homeliness. The relaxing, homely action of lighting up a pipe, the comforting sound of sucking in the match flame to get the air circulating round the tobacco and a familiar smell. Pipe smoking seen as a masculine, fatherly activity.

Tea towel - Harriet brings this along. Chintzy pattern appropriate for the Bagshaw family. Chintz and textiles seen as homely. Harriet recounts a significant point in her family life where her sister split open her head and a tea towel was used to stop the bleeding. We liked this alternative use of a seemingly innocent domestic object.

Button box - Harriet has inherited this button collection and speaks of the button collections she has been aware of from various matriarchs in her life. She speaks of the pointlessness of all these singular buttons that are gathered and kept but serve little purpose. Buttons saved 'just in case'. Perhaps this is an outmoded activity as these days rather than repair clothes people tend to buy new. Button boxes are something I've always enjoyed. There's something satisfying about the sound of them shaking in the box and the feel of cold plastic buttons.

Book - Harriet recommends 'Behind the Scenes at the Museum' by Kate Atkinson as a book full of family orientated stories.

Family correspondence - Harriet talks us through various correspondence sent by her family. Harriet points out the apparently trivial detail of the letters and the context/subtext behind them.

Sheet music – Dusty Springfield – Close my eyes and count to ten. I feel this is a particularly appropriate song choice for Jean Bagshaw...

Box of emotions

2011-01-22T21:00:00.000Z

Then we move on to some prep work. We play ‘box of emotions’ where a box is full of emotions written on tickets and the participant blindly chooses and emotion and then has to enact it using only their physicality – the audience have to guess the emotion or discuss how the emotion is best represented if it is not possible to guess. Some of the emotions are harder than others. The differences between agitation and irritation for example are quite subtle.

This exercise encourages the performer to use only their facial expressions and body to communicate. However, we also find that status and position in space or in relation to objects also helps communicate emotion.

This exercise prepares the performers for the following day's workshop which will generate material that could feed into the performance.

Call for interest Jan 2011

2011-01-03T18:17:00.001Z

Northern Creative Theatre are a theatrical think tank who employ new approaches to creating theatre by blending traditional play writing with experimental technique. Story and character form the foundation of our work, ensuring that it remains accessible as we innovate with structure, style, form and process.

We are an emerging company who are participating in a 12 month development scheme called ‘Incubator’ at the University of Leeds which includes a research and development phase for which this call out is particularly relevant. This is a real opportunity for the right performer to make a significant contribution to this company’s aesthetic and working practice.

In January 2011 we are hosting workshops to ‘meet and greet’ interested performers who would like to collaborate on future projects. These will take place in Leeds during the week commencing 17^th January at ‘The Hub’ (exact dates and timings to be confirmed).

We’re interested in meeting performers who have an interest in or experience of improvisation and devising. Our devising process requires a high level of commitment. We are looking for self motivated, hard working individuals who can bring plenty of ideas and raw material to the table. Sensitivity to music and sound in a theatrical context and the ambient/atmospheric possibilities of live performance would be attractive to us.

We’re also interested in working with performers who have backgrounds in - live art, visual art, film, physical theatre, dance, music, multi-media - though the priorities outlined above remain paramount.

We would especially like to work with those who, as well as performing, are willing to take on other administrative/management/technical/creative roles within the company and, more generally, folk who take responsibility and value team work. Professional mentoring is a feature of the development scheme that the company are participating in. Support and guidance will be forthcoming for individuals who take on additional roles and some training may be available.

Please send your CV to Joanne Hartley jlh@nctheatre.co.uk by 17.00 on 12^th January if you would like to express your interest in this opportunity and are available to attend the workshops w/c 17^th January. If you are not able to attend the workshops at this time but would still like to get in touch, please feel free to do so. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.

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Announcement

2010-12-20T12:20:00.001Z

http://www.leeds.ac.uk/pci/Incubator.html

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Good news

2010-12-15T11:55:00.002Z

I graduated yesterday, gown and ceremony, proud parents and partner and all that. Such a peculiar yet satisfying thing to do. Ceremony is perhaps underrated. Maybe we need more of that to mark and celebrate our achievements and that which we value and appreciate in general.
Northern Creative Theatre have been successful in their application to the University of Leeds 'Incubator' scheme. This means that over twelve months the company will be mentored by an industry professional and by the School of Performance and Cultural Industries. We'll also have a couple of public performances and some funding for production costs. It's a very exciting step. When I look at what we achieved in March this year in only a few weeks it makes the possibility of a year's work seem quite awesome. At the moment I feel a bit 'rabbit in the headlights' about it. I have a few niggling doubts but I am not succumbing to them right now. I am trying to have a bit of a break before I embark on twelve months of hard work.
In January NCT has a week booked in at 'The Hub' which is Slung Low's home on the outskirts of Leeds City Centre. We're going to do some preliminary work on Elephant in the Room and a workshop/series of workshops to make connections with other theatre artists in the area.
Then we're spending a week at Theatre in the Mill at the very end of January/early February. They have an 'open space' programme where we can use their rehearsal facilities and hopefully have interaction with the community there. We may also get some advice/feedback/steer from Iain Bloomfield who runs the place. I've had a request recently for copy to go in their brochure so we'll also be mentioned in their publicity material which is great as I know their PR is good.
So, lots happening. And I'm still editing Whatsonstage.com and working three days per week.
I spoke to one of my lecturers at the graduation ceremony yesterday and he mentioned that he'd checked in on the blog. It surprised me that he knew about it and was reading. I'd love to know who those of you who are reading are so please do leave a comment if you've checked in and read this post.

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November update

2010-11-02T12:24:00.001Z

It's been a while. Only a little while but long enough for me to feel it's necessary to fill in the blanks.

As I approached the MA deadline I looked forward to all the things I'd be able to do once I had passed the finishing point. The reality of finishing has been different to what I expected.

Bizzarely, despite the pressure passing, I have been tense and restless and have found it very difficult to establish a new routine. Eventually I had two weeks of disruptive migraine which forced me to slow down and lie down, followed by yet more illness (i will spare you the details) before I came back to any state of normality. And even this new normality feels wierd.

I'm hoping that a massage and a haircut and a facial (seriously - i look like I've had a very hard life right now) will help me feel like I have turned a page. That and the assessment results I am expecting in the next day or so...

In other news:

I've taken over as editor of the Yorkshire region's Whatsonstage.com - have a look at the work we do : http://www.whatsonstage.com/northeast

I've put Northern Creative Theatre forward for a couple of development opportunities. Fingers crossed and watch this space for news about these.

I met with Dean Murray yesterday about a future plan for Northern Creative Theatre and from our discussion it seems that we're on the same page and that he's interested in committing on an ongoing basis to the company. There's still some bedding in to be done with NCT. For a long time NCT has been something I've done singularly with the support of various associate artists but I have decided that it's time to share the load and to open up to a core team.

Roles are yet to be decided. I want this process to be organic. I truly believe that the right people will emerge when the time is right. Dean is the first and I hope there will be others. Discussions with other interested parties including Jonnie Khan and Ruth Marston are pending. As this is a large committment and because there isn't any funding/pay at the moment it is essential that individuals are doing what they want to do, rather than what needs to be done or what they ought to do. It is also essential that the creative/aesthetic aims and artistic policy chime with objectives and ethos of whoever comes on board.

In the meantime I'm working on progressing the creative work, gathering together the necessary people and finding a space to work in.

I have a little bit of fear. Could it be that I've made myself so busy that there's no time/space to actually continue developing my craft as a writer? Have I deliberately filled my life to avoid writing? Not because I don't love it, but because I'm afraid of it and what happens when I do it?

But I also feel bold and courageous. The work I'm doing with NCT will spur me to find my groove as a writer. NCT activity provide/inspire a brief. NCT will allow me to find new ways and approaches to writing.

Here's the artistic policy:

Northern Creative Theatre are a theatrical think tank who employ new approaches to new writing by blending traditional play writing with experimental technique.

Story and character form the foundation of Northern Creative Theatre’s work ensuring that it remains accessible as they innovate with structure, style, form and process; their objective to explore play writing and the role of the writer in contemporary theatre performance.

north·ern

Adjective

1. situated in or towards the north

2. native to or growing in the north.

cre·a·tive

Adjective

1. having the ability or power to create.

2. productive; creating.

3. characterized by originality and expressiveness

Noun

1. one who displays productive originality

2. an assumption breaking process

the·a·tre
Noun
1. A sphere or scheme of operation

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Done

2010-09-14T10:50:00.001+01:00

The MA is done.

I ran out of time and didn't get the final submission professionally bound. Glancing back briefly over the document, I have spotted various errors. As my thoughts reorganise in my mind I realise that some of my arguments were a little unsubstantiated and possibly revealed a certain naivety.

But it is out of my hands now and I can move on.

It feels strange. I had been running on adrenaline and now, as it subsides, tiredness is creeping in.

For me it feels like a big shift. A momentous change!

But everyone else is ‘normal’ and unaware of the strange mix of exhilaration, relief, sense of victory and apprehension for the future that I’m experiencing.

What will I do now?

The MA has been in virtually every waking thought.

Will I still have the discipline to write now that the framework of the MA has been taken away?

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Four weeks to go...

2010-08-17T16:23:00.002+01:00

Gulp.

Sometimes the best work comes together last minute and flying by the seat of my pants has certainly been my working method of choice in the past. I have a very active inner critic, and (apart from the weeks spent castigating myself for not being a better student/employee/playwright/general-all-round-individual) being a last minute wonder has been a way of silencing that critic. As it gets closer to the deadline I simply do not have time to attend to those intrusive critical thoughts; I become much more selective in what I do, and do not, listen to from inside my own brain.

My inner critic is a blessing as well as a curse. Yes, I am last minute, but, because of the critic my standards are also high. There's no way on earth that I'm going to allow myself to hand in sloppy work.

However, somehow or other I have written a first draft of my dissertation, one whole month in advance of the deadline. I set myself a false deadline and forced myself to write a certain amount each day and voilà! A first draft!

So, this first draft of my dissertation combined with the first draft of my play (which I forced myself to write when I realised that my supervisor wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about unless I showed him an actual play, written in actual words, on an actual page) puts me in a position I haven't ever been in before...that of someone working on a second draft.

How on earth do I write a second draft? I feel so naive even just asking the question. I can imagine the professional people around me tut-tutting and asking me how I can even consider myself one iota a playwright, having only ever written draft one of a play before.

Worse still - some of my plays have been performed and people have paid to watch them.

The shame!

I do know of other writers who write only one draft and who put together plays very quickly. Noel Coward's 'Hayfever' was famously written in less than a week and not a word has been changed since. Phyllis Nage writes her plays in one six or seven day sitting - though she writes them in her head first and this can take a year or more.

Anyhow. Here I am, for the first time ever, working on a second draft. And it isn't easy at all. I have asked around and my Playwright friend Sarah (@wordweave for those of you on twitter) has made these suggestions :

Ask yourself :

Exposition - where is it & can you show it better ? does it serve a function? is there a vital piece of info missing?

Protagonist - is it clear whose story this is? where is it not? does that work for the play?

Write out scene titles for the whole piece then decide a main action title - are there any gaps? does this make it apparent any one character needs more to do?

(Thanks Sarah)

And Gary Henderson suggests the following when moving from a first draft to subsequent drafts:

1. Summarise the play in a single paragraph. This is not the play blurb or teaser, but what actually happens in the play.

2. Say what is the play about in a single word. Like, "solitude" or "desire" or "family". This is the theme of the play.

3. Using that word, state what you are trying to say, as short and pithy as possible. eg "Desire will kill you". This is the dramatic premise, which you must know why you believe in order to write the play.

I found Gary's wisdom on Renee Liang's blog.

So, armed with these suggestions and with the feedback I've gathered from numerous other people (thanks Supriya, Laurence, Sarah, Anna Clarkson, Harold Kimmel,James, Mum and Belle) I shall venture onto this unknown territory and see what happens next...

I have to hand the drafts to my supervisor on Friday so its going to be a very busy couple of days.

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a couple of quotes i've picked up today

2010-08-05T22:48:00.001+01:00

'...experience is no mere additive process. Each individual experience is mirrored on an entire background of past experiences and each new experience is constantly interwoven into the fabric of the whole of the individual's experiential life. It is, therefore, possible to recall the whole of a long series of experiences at a particular moment without mentally reliving the entire series in the original span of time. Proof of this lies in the psychological experience of dreams where we relive whole experiences often in a few seconds.'

'the future,therefore, is not 'imperfectly anticipated'; it is known (or at least knowable), and this fact greatly enhances the aesthetic experience.

'Bergson has defined the experience of time as 'the continuous progress of the past, which gnaws into the future and which swells as it advances.' His concept of duration is similar in that it is 'a series of qualitative changes which melt into and permeate one another without precise outlines.'

'Thus Bergson gets away from the usual trimodal conception of time with its past future and present which have as little relation to true time as the points on our clocks which divide time into seconds, minutes and hours. These have only practical significance and have no relation to the qualitative conception of the time experience.'

Fleming, W. The Newer Concepts of Time and Their Relation to the Temporal Arts - The Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, Vol. 4, No. 2 (Dec., 1945), pp. 101-106 Published by: Blackwell Publishing

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a couple of quotes i've picked up today

2010-08-05T22:47:00.001+01:00

'the future,therefore, is not 'imperfectly anticipated'; it is known (or at least knowable), and this fact greatly enhances the aesthetic experience.

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Writing Words about Stuff

2010-08-04T20:47:00.001+01:00

I met with my supervisor, Javier, this week having sent him through the first draft of the script that I will submit as part of my final MA project.

Javier was very encouraging about the shape and the energy of my script. I was expecting him to try to persuade me to spoon-feed the storyline to the audience but this was not the case. In fact he advised me that going into detail about the story would detract from the visceral and the visual impact of my work!

Through out the MA there has been a tension. Something about the way we've been taught hasn't felt right for me and I've not been able to pin down exactly what the problem has been. I'm not sure I will fully understand until after the course is over (its not meant to be fun after all) but at the moment I am experiencing a sense of clarity and freedom because I feel understood. Could it be that the mainstream aims of the course have jarred more significantly that I've allowed myself to contemplate? I've certainly been angry and frustrated at times when I've craved freedom and experimentation and what I've been faced with are format and convention and rules.

When I attended D&D North East this year I spoke of some of my frustrations to Phelim McDermott and he advised me to use my frustration and anger in my work. At the time it sounded like good advice but I didn't fully understand. Now I think I know exactly what Phelim was talking about.

Experiencing encouragement and understanding when I've produced something using only my gut instincts has been like rain clouds clearing. Now it feels like I'm open to vast possibilities and I can simply be myself in my writing and approach.

I feel like throwing all the 'how to' books out of the window!

I have two more drafts of my script to write. I'm not even going to refer to the initial draft when I write the next one. I'm going to take a deep breath, switch off my brain and dive in at the deep end. If there's anything worth retaining from the first draft it will be residual in my subconscious and make it through to draft two.

The next part of the submission is the almighty 8,000 word thesis that will explain the theoretical framework for my writing.

There is method in my madness.

The content is written from my gut, yes, but the frame for that content, the structure of the piece, the character development work and research have all been undertaken in a logical way and for logical (well to me anyway) reasons.

I have to explain my logic. This is what the 8,000 words are for and this is where the frustration comes in handy and can be used to drive my argument. I have to make myself understood! The play is complex and unintelligible so my explanation and justification have to be clear. And my desire to be understood is even stronger because I haven't been up till now.

I've decided that i'm going to blog (maybe a little, maybe a lot) about the process of writing my 8,000 words (thanks to Grace for the suggestion). What or how or why will become apparent as I write I think.

Ok, for starters I offer you this...

Our notion of past, present and future is 'a priori' which means learned without experience. Could it be that past, present and future is actually an ordering system that we apply to something more complex? Could past future and present help us make sense of our lives when really we exist in a non-linear chaos?

I'll leave you to ponder this for now...

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Finding the story

2010-07-21T13:42:00.001+01:00

Another reminder for myself.

I don't always know the story right from the outset.

I seem to get places and characters who say random things and flashes of images/stage possibilities before I get a coherent whole.

It comes in fragments first. It's not logical at all.

I don't think I'm suited to plot heavy, twisty turny stuff.

I'm more psychological.

I get phases where there is loads of incoherent stuff that doesn't have a form.

Then a penny drops and all the chaos finds its form (a eureka moment) (often still chaotic but something i can see and hear on the imaginary stage in my head, something that works theatrically, sometimes a 'device'.).

I find the story in the chaos and bring it out (pull it out).

I try to get the incoherent stuff on the page somehow, if it’s difficult it’s because something isn't working.

I try to figure what isn't working. Once I've established what is 'wrong' I can work out what to do to move it on to next stage.

The figuring and establishing and working out is quite subconscious and comes about when I'm relaxed

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Eight weeks to go...

2010-07-21T13:30:00.001+01:00

It seems that I may be able to write a play after all. And perhaps I do have a process; an approach; a 'voice'.

I'm writing this so I remember for next time.

Tai Chi really helps. Too much sitting in front of lap top screen, play text or book causes tension in the neck. A tense neck impairs relaxation necessary to have the head space and confidence for the creativity to flow. I don't work well when I'm scrunched up, tense and stiff. Prioritising moving around and Tai Chi is keeping me on the right track.

Chanting really helps (Na Myo Ho Renge Kyo - for the uninitiated). Seriously. I'm feeling it now in a way I haven't ever before. I need it. When I don't do it I get fog in my head and the drone of 'I can't do it' starts up in my brain and it’s a slippery slope to fear and panic. Since I increased the time spent chanting each day my work has really developed and three flowers on my Peace Lily have come out, which I'm taking as encouragement from the environment.

Trying to work for very long periods of time is counter productive and beating myself up for not working more each day is even more so. I have been doing a time audit and it seems that I have a lengthy morning routine that I have to get through before I settle into work. I seem to work best in the afternoon, particularly when I have to read something. There have been periods where I've been very productive in the evening (usually in the run up to a deadline). I seem to get words on the page better in the evening.

750 words of script per day seem achievable for me on a first draft.

I'm getting in about 3 or 4 hours of work per focused day on average at the moment. I think this will increase as the deadline gets closer. But I'm quite happy with this as a moderately relaxed working speed.

I'm managing 3 focused days per week at this moderately relaxed pace.

I don't work well on the days when I have to go to day job - but I can do bits and pieces of admin/research on these days, go to supermarket and do chores.

I’m thinking about it 75% of the time so am making progress even when I’m not hugely focused. I am managing to remind myself that this is work and it does count. As the days go by the project is developing even if I’m pretty hands off.

Perhaps I’m not quite as bad as I believed I was. Yes, it does come together at the last minute, but there’s a huge amount of preparation in advance of that. I am very committed to that preparation. I think it pays off and helps things to slot together when it’s closer to the deadline.

Long preparation and not committing too early really gives the project time to breath.

I write in a condensed/concentrated way to start off with. I start with something small and compact and then ‘pull it out’ (imagine unravelling a big pile of tightly tangled wool).

I am generally happier and more productive when there’s a healthy mix of social interaction in my week/day. Keeping my self in my flat is counter productive.

I check my emails/twitter/facebook accounts far too often and these are a real thief of my time.

The ‘eureka’ moments and the surges of intense motivation come about a week before the deadline. So I need to learn to break projects in to bits and have a series of very real deadlines leading up to a final deadline to make sure I’m in good shape for the final big push.

I need to find a way to trick myself into believing the weight of my own interim deadlines. Determining in front of Gohonzon helps.

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Nine weeks to go...

2010-07-10T14:43:00.001+01:00

Emerge festival came and went. The response to Elephant in the Room was really fantastic.

To prepare Harriet for the Emerge performance (Harriet was replacing Tanja who couldn't perform on the Emerge date due to being in Glastonbury) we all revisited the psychology of the piece. In doing so we reinterpreted it and improved certain parts that weren't working as well as they could have done. Rehearsals were relaxed and felt productive. All of this was reflected in the presentation at Emerge.

The work was seen by Dick Bonham, Rod Dixon, Stephanie Upsall and a lady called Emma from Arts Council (i really need to find out exactly who she is/was) who were the panel of experts for the evening. We received encouraging and enthusiastic feedback from them with some suggestions for improvement and ideas for development.

It was great to get a response like this and I was pleased that our hard work was seen by the people in the region who matter. Along with the panel of experts were numerous theatre practitioners, writers, performers etc who's work I respect. Many of these people were forthcoming with feedback and ideas after the performance.

And now it's back the masters degree that i'm doing.

I've wrangled with the MA since March. The reality of putting together an extended piece of writing has proved seriously challenging. I knew I would have to complete a full length play as part of the MA but I have had a kind of numb denial block about it. I've had to process a lot of fear and negative bottom line beliefs about myself to get myself into a position where I could write anything at all. It has been very very strange but also very familiar. I think I have been doubly challenged because the model I was being forced to adopt clashed with my working style. I have felt like a square peg in a round hole and very, very inadequate. There have been times where I have questioned if I will ever be able to write anything at all and if I'll ever write anything again. Honestly, the jury remains out on these questions.

While I've been going through all this time has marched forward and I have somehow managed to jump excruciatingly through the necessary hoops. Now I have only nine weeks left to finish the final project that will get me an MA.

The light at the end of the tunnel is motivating me and I have been chanting a lot which is keeping me positive.

As I have become more optimistic my creative ideas have started to form in a way that I am comfortable with. I hope that in the future I will trust myself more and have more confidence in what I am starting to realise is my 'process'. When I was working on Elephant in the Room I had a 'eureka' moment in the bath. I had a vision that I knew would work. And it did!

With my research project I have worried profusely because I didn't have an idea that stuck. I knew that what I was coming up with wasn't good enough, that it didn't have 'legs', that it just plain wouldn't work. I was being encouraged to follow through with the ideas I wasn't fully comfortable with but when I sat down and tried to write them I just became blocked and disheartened. I have had some terrible weekends of sitting blankly in front of my lap top feeling very disappointed when the words declined to show up on the page.

I was having to go into Uni and give big presentations about these ideas - ideas that I didn't believe in at all. It was awful! I would then have to sit through hours of other people's presentations for their projects that were coherent and on track. I have realised that I do not thrive in an environment where I compare myself to others.

Thankfully I don't have to go through any more of these presentations. I felt very relieved when the last one was over. I hadn't realised how much the presentations had been bothering me.

My first deadline is Monday. It is both surprising and not surprising that I have had something similar to the 'eureka' moment I had before. An idea came (well it was more like a solution to various problems I'd been thinking through from a previous idea) that felt 'right'. And since then it hasn't changed or caused me to fret. A sign that I'm on the right track.

And so, now I have to write it.

I may write more about the writing process, or I may not have time.

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Elephant in the Room at Emerge

2010-06-04T11:45:00.001+01:00

Northern Creative Theatre will be showing Elephant in the Room at the Emerge new work festival on Thursday 24th June.

The work will be shown along with several other short pieces from emerging companies. The venue is Seven Artspace in Chapel Allerton.

It would be great to have you in the audience. There'll be the opportunity to give feedback after the performance.

2010-05-11T09:50:00.000+01:00

This is a blog collaboration between Northern Creative and Photography by Lubo where I write in response to one of Stefan's images.

Outed

Outed from the playground by the boys from year twelve. The boys aren’t even using the swing! They’re just trying to bunny hop over the seesaw on their BMXs and scratching up the side of the slide on their skate boards.

Even though two girls try to emulate them by wearing the same clothes and trainers; they hate boys.

That ‘tom boy’ phase; uneasy about the complexities of the femininity that will follow, enjoying the freedom of their last remaining weeks and months of childhood before they begin to fret at the fringes of adolescence, these carefree days behind them.

Putting off the responsibilities that come with the gender they’ve been blessed with by denying it, a phase tolerated with amusement by the parents who allow their offspring the freedom to choose and to make decisions regarding their appearance, rather than imposing their own, to breed independence as suggested by the Guardian on Sunday magazine.

The parents worry only fleetingly about their daughters’ gender defiance, they’ve a vague recollection of an article once read somewhere that deemed this normal and seem to recall a phase of something similar themselves.

They needn’t worry at all.

These two young things will bloom and blossom into paragons of womanliness and retaining their friendship bond they will go out together to another kind of playground. This one will be made up of bars and nightclubs and flirtation and glints in their eyes. Thankful for their curves and they will enjoy the power that they now hold over the boys, perhaps the same boys who were once from year twelve.

Northern Creative Theatre at Carriageworks 24th April

2010-04-20T11:30:00.005+01:00

ephant in the Room will be showing as part of Midget Gems at the Carriageworks in Leeds on 24th April at 20.00
If you would like to come, please do book your ticket as this event usually sells out and it's unlikely that tickets will be available on the door. Box Office 0113 224 3801

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Elephant in the Room 'Mother and I' performance photographs

2010-04-14T11:39:00.003+01:00

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Elephant in the Room 'Nature Nurture' performance photographs

2010-04-14T11:24:00.007+01:00

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Elephant in the Room

2010-03-03T12:50:00.007Z

Elephant in the Room

Saturday 6th March 16.30 - 17.30

Stage@leeds as part of Newstages 2010

Tickets are £5 (advance booking recommended)

(or £7.50 for a festival day ticket or £12.50 for a two day festival ticket)

BOX OFFICE 0113 343 8730

Following their success on the Midget Gems tour in 2008 and at Newstages 09, Northern Creative Theatre presents 'Elephant in the Room', a trilogy of short plays.

The idiomatic expression elephant in the room applies to an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. Through three contrasting scenarios this trilogy explores the lengths we go to to avoid facing up to the uncomfortable parts of our realities, and the consequences of consistently burying our heads in the sand, refusing to face up to that which is staring right at us.

In 'Nature Nurture' we meet the dysfunctional Bagshaw family who coexist with an unspoken void between them .

Arnold – Peter Edmunds

Jean – Tanja Kane

Frank - Dean Murray

'Mother and I' explores and the nature of denial in addiction and the impact of alcoholism on family relationships.

Fiona - Sarah Louise Allison

Lucinda – Ruth Marston

'Also Pink’ acquaints us with a young woman who perpetuates her own dissatisfaction by allowing underlying issues in her marriage to go unaddressed.

Yvonne – Harriet Chandler

This project is presented as 'work in progress' and there will be an opportunity for the audience to feed back and to discuss the work after the performance. Alternatively, please email feedback to northerncreative@googlemail.com

Sound design by Jonnie Khan and Maddie Vining

Lighting by Naomi Vandermolen

Rehearsal report 16

2010-03-03T12:30:00.001Z

The cast of all three components of ‘Elephant in the Room’ assemble along with Hannah (design), Naomi (lighting) and Maddie (sound).

My plan for the evening is to do a couple of runs of the whole piece and to look at/think about moving set and props on and off in between the scenes.

It takes a while to get the sound equipment set up so we run ‘Nature Nurture’ with me reading in the sound cues rather than playing the sound scape. The cast are in costume and Tanja’s performance of Jean comes together rather magically.

I think the absence of the sound scape is actually helping the performers settle into the piece a little bit. There has been a lot of frenetic activity around the sound scape and this has been going on while the performers were rehearsing and I suspect that this has been upsetting the balance a little bit. Tanja had expressed something along these lines at a previous rehearsal and now I think I can see where she was coming from with this.

Dean doesn’t seem at ease with what is required of him as Frank. I know that Dean is a strong performer and his input into the devising process has been so valuable. I feel like I have disabled him by taking the spoken word away from him. I’ve deprived him of his language. I am not skilled enough as director to support Dean to bring the performance to fruition. I think that my direction might actually be making it more difficult for him.

We run each piece and coordinate the scene changes.

It’s very strange having made three pieces of work and running them together with the cast of the other two pieces watching. There’s a slightly unnerving silence after each piece has finished. I think this is the part where I’m supposed to give notes. I can almost hear what’s in the thoughts of the people watching (this didn’t work, this is a bit flat, why isn’t she saying/doing anything?) but it doesn’t seem right to start trying to give notes and to fix problems when there are people watching. Maybe if I’m in similar situation in the future I’ll set the rehearsal room up so that the other people present in the room are not sitting as ‘audience’ and are instead seated in another kind of position, or maybe even in another room altogether (wishful thinking!!). I’m also very aware that I should utilise whoever is present rather than have them sitting around at a lose end. Perhaps if I were able to pay people I wouldn’t feel this pressure but as the performers are all generously giving their time I don’t want to waste it.

Perhaps my decision to rehearse this way has been counter-productive and I would be better off spending time working on individual pieces right through to the tech rehearsal.

One of the positives is that the performers get to run the pieces without interference from me so they begin to take even more responsibility and to try things out. I see some wonderful glimmers of characterisation and moments and touches of truth that I couldn’t have ever directed.

Satisfied that the scene changes have been addressed I send Ruth, Sarah Lou and Harriet home and focus on Nature Nurture again. This time with the sound scape.

Dean is not happy, he doesn’t feel that he’s achieving his potential. I don’t know how to fix this. Dean says he thinks he’ll need longer before he finds his way into the performance. I’m aware that what I’m asking him to do is extremely complex and I reassure him of this. In an ideal world, and if I could do it all over again, I would have allowed more time for the performers to come to terms with the piece. I suggest that he relaxes and doesn’t worry. A lot of the performance is fine, it’s just not the very high standard that Dean is used to delivering. We record one particularly problematic section of the sound scape on my dictaphone and I agree to download this and to email it to him so he can rehearse and get used to the timing away from the rehearsal room.

My tutor is present for this rehearsal and he catches me at the end of the session and gives notes. He thinks that collectively the piece is quite static and makes several suggestions for movement in the space. I take his notes on board and will endeavour to rectify. However, tech rehearsal is on Thursday and the remaining time to fix this kind of thing is so limited that I’m unsure what I’ll be able to achieve.

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Rehearsal report 15

2010-03-02T11:05:00.001Z

One last session with the Nature Nurture cast before we move into focusing on the technicalities of the production as a whole. There’s a lot of work to be done to explore performance styles against a sound scape backdrop.

Now that the performers have a greater sense of what’s happening they have begun to take ownership of their performances. I am really pleased to see them exploring the silences, direct address, and being forthcoming with ideas.

Little scenes begin to develop within the broader scenes that I’ve sketched out and the piece begins to come to life.

The direct address at the very beginning of the piece is quite challenging and a tall order and needs directing very specifically. It’s coming along but it needs more work and I’m a bit worried that my attention and time is going to be diverted by the project as a whole and that the opening will suffer as a result. The performer requires a lot of support but there’s only one of me and five other performers, as well as two sound designers, a designer and a lighting designer. I don’t know how much I’m going to be able to feasibly give to this performer as we move into technical/logistical/organisational territory.

The sound scape is coming together nicely and is pretty much fixed now and towards the end of the rehearsal the cues are running along nicely.

It has taken this long for me to feel that I’m beginning to understand where the performers are at, their particular styles and comfort zones and how to communicate with them. This is another lesson learned. I think this understanding has been delayed by the problematic making of the piece.

There is the hint of tension in the rehearsal room from the performers from time to time. The performers are probably tired as they have been at work during the day and then come to rehearsal in the evening. I am running on adrenaline, wired, nervous, very aware of time constraints and really feeling the strain.

Tanja has noticed a glitch in the sound scape where the recording of one of her sound bite is not as consistent as the others and she seems disappointed by this. However, it is not possible to rerecord due to technical and time constraints. I am disappointed for her but there isn’t anything we can do at this stage. She takes the disappointment in her stride.

We run over time wise but the performers are generous enough to stay until the job is finished. In future I will factor in more time for rehearsals on the schedule.

Now I begin to become anxious about the tech rehearsal which will take place on Thursday night…

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Rehearsal report 14

2010-03-01T13:33:00.001Z

It’s make or break time for Nature Nurture.

Outside of the rehearsal room I have scrutinised the recording we took at the last rehearsals and put together an order that I am satisfied suggests/resonates the story and the points that we have been trying to make through our explorations of the subject matter.

This creates a framework for the rehearsal ahead. I have a clear idea of the ‘scenes’ and what should happen when.

So, there’s a very different ‘vibe’ in the rehearsal room. The performers are relieved and even seem happy. I am in quite a positive mood which helps.

Just before we start on the blocking, Jonny asks various questions about the piece. He has obviously been thinking about a few things. Jonnie is not sure that the ‘jumper straight jacket’ metaphor is strong enough. I can see where he is coming from but I think that using an actual straight jacket (one of his suggestions) would be giving off a very wrong signal indeed. Jonnie also suggests that Arnold could simply be put into pyjamas by his parents rather than the jumper straight jacket, but again, this gives off a completely different message. The performers seem happy to stay with the straight jacket idea. When we block the scene and rehearse the action of dressing Arnold greater emphasis is given to the jumper straight jacket which helps illustrate the metaphor.

Jonny also starts to explore the possibilities of having both sound bites and spoken word. He asks how the audience will connect with the performers if they remain silent. He suggests that there may be some interaction between the sound bites and the onstage spoken word. I agree that these are all valid points and suggestions. Exploring interaction between the sound and the spoken words is a very interesting idea, but I see that this would be possibly something for the future rather than something for the festival on 6^th March.

How the audience will connect with the performers/characters is the next major challenge of the piece and as we begin to rough it out I realise how much direction is going to be required from me to make the performances sufficiently engaging. I have performed before in a multi media context so I understand how to perform with a multi media ‘back drop’ (though in this instance the back drop is audible rather than visual) but the performers I’m working with are not as clear about this as I am. I realise that again, the kind of performance style I’m looking for is not very common. Plus, the performers are bound to be a little bit confused because of all the character work we’ve been doing. They are expecting to draw from that rather than in part toning it down (but not losing it completely) as I am now asking them to.

Jonny and Maddie set about editing the recording according to the order I have selected so that we can try out the scenes with the sound bites played over.

It is obvious that there is potential for the piece. Everyone feels a sense of achievement.

We agree to work through the technical and blocking work for today and to work on finer detail at the next rehearsal.

The rehearsal is very tech orientated as Jonny and Maddie work on the sound bites, but when the four hours is up we have a fully blocked and almost soundscaped piece.

The cast of Mother and I and Also Pink arrive as we’ve arranged for all the work to be shown to the full cast. Gathering everyone together is also intended to offer some orientation and for everyone to be aware of the project as a whole. We do a warm up song together to break the ice and I outline the rehearsal room etiquette.

We get to run each piece twice and I am able to give a few notes and invite comments from the whole group on Nature Nurture. I hope that the audience feedback will encourage the performers of Nature Nurture to feel more confident about the unusual performance style I’m asking of them.

I’m not getting the level of performance that I have seen in previous rehearsals for Mother and I and for Also Pink but I think the context (of a work sharing and orientation rehearsal) is causing this so I’m not too worried at this stage.

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Rehearsal report 13

2010-03-01T13:04:00.001Z

Ruth and Sarah Lou are with me on a Saturday afternoon to rehearse Mother and I . We begin with a lines run which panics me as Ruth and Sarah Lou seem to struggle with their lines. For a moment I feel like the piece has taken a step backwards! I must remember that a lines run is for lines only, not for character and emotional intensity.

We begin to work on the scene in the space and my concerns dissolve as the characters and emotional intensity really come alive. We ‘fix’ any blocking problems, really firming up and finalising the stage action.

Ruth expresses frustration about being limited in her interaction with Sarah Lou by the table that they sit around. I consult Hannah, our designer, who is present about how we might re arrange the set to allow for greater interaction. We reset the table etc. on a diagonal and this really helps, though Sarah Lou has to adjust how she moves upstage and down stage to accommodate. I realise that having seating and tables can be restrictive and that moving the Nature Nurture team up and away from the table could also help them feel more free.

Once the blocking is fixed the scene really starts to move and flow and the performers really get into their stride. It’s exhilarating to see how far we’ve come with the piece.

Rather than stop and start the performers I let them enjoy a few runs as I can see their on stage rapport developing and I want this to continue building.

We have one more session together where we can look at finer detail.

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Rehearsal report 12

2010-03-01T09:34:00.001Z

We begin to work on the silences in Nature Nuture. We go straight into character and into the improvisation. The agreement is that I will coach while the performers are improvising. We don’t see how notes could be given retrospectively when the cues are looks and silences, how would the performers know which silence I was referring to?

We see the same banal domestic scene and it continues to engage me. The sound team are present and they set about constructing the soundscape.

The performers make a noble attempt at working with the silences, but the silences restrict and block them so much that they express their exasperation and we stop the improvisation.

I’ve sought the advice of various theatre makers who have reframed silence as ‘a space where things can happen’, referred me to comedia del arte lazzi games of status, suggested ‘listening’ to the silences, playing out internal monologues, mask work etc. but when I tell the performers about these things we are not able to transform these suggestions into anything. I am not trained to direct these kinds of things and the performers have a varied experience of working with silence. I realise that being able to perform silence or facilitating the performance of silence is not a common skill to have. We hit a big block.

Jonnie, one of the sound designers is good enough to step in with suggestion to help out. When I had my initial eureka moment I had thought about a family photograph/portrait that speaks and that the stage image would be still and silent but the voice would be a sound recording played over the image. This is inspired by one of Jean Claude Van Itallie’s plays ‘Photographs : Mary and Howard’. Jonnie suggests that we attempt to try this rather than continue with the silence, as he believes that the audience will need more clues to the story than the visual clues.

We spend the rest of the session recording material for the sound bites which will form parts of the soundscape.

This involves returning to the family portrait/continuous family monologue exercise that had been successful in previous rehearsal workshops. At times I write notes and pass them to the performers to guide their monologue.

Once the rehearsal workshop has finished I set about listening to what has been recorded and selecting and ordering sound bites that resonate the story. I’m intrigued to find out how little exposition I can get away with for the audience to get a sense of what is happening.

I hope that the soundscape and the sound bites will help the performers relax with the silences. They will be able to interact with the soundscape, to juxtapose it and they will be able to directly address the audience and ‘play’ with them. I think that if I had set about working on the sound bite idea from the outset the performers might not have engaged with this idea as much as if I had begun exploring only the silence. I think the performers will be relieved to have the sound bites having been so restricted previously. I am glad I attempted to pare the piece back to silence before we explored the sound bite idea.

I am incredibly grateful to the performers for their commitment to the project and for not abandoning it when we hit a creative block. The project has changed and shape shifted so much and I suspect that this was not at all what the performers expected when they came on board. In the future, if I think a project might go down the same route as Nature Nurture, I will be more specific about this from the outset, investigate further the kinds of skills that the performers have and find out where their comfort zones are. In this instance however, i did not foresee the process taking the turns that it did.

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Rehearsal report 11

2010-02-27T09:14:00.001Z

Working on ‘Also Pink’, the third and final component of the project, a monologue.

Harriet who is playing ‘Yvonne’, the career driven, maternal instinct denying protagonist whose husband has quite different ideas about the direction their marriage is taking, has memorised the six minute monologue and has been rehearsing on her own.

Harriet has already done a very good job of bringing some physicalisation to piece which helps to depict the various different settings that emerge as the story progresses. She is also playing the monologue very subtly, her character deeply in denial, really believing that what she is saying is true.

Our work for the day consists of finding a way to reveal the subtext, letting the audience know that alarm bells are ringing, that something isn’t right. That even though superficially Yvonne believes in what she’s saying, deep down something is niggling at her. She’s a little bit too defensive about the fact that she doesn’t want to have a baby, and a little bit too pleased about her husband’s new friend.

We begin by breaking down the text or ‘translating’ it, reading into every line for the hidden meaning that is there, looking how one sentence relates to the next. This helps bring the subtext to the surface.

Harriet mentions body language and we quickly do some internet research into body language assumed when in denial, facial or hair touching, rubbing arm, pulling at clothing, other ‘defence’ responses. We try a few of these body languages out and look through the text again, thinking about which gestures can be used at which point to undermine what is being spoken.

When we run the monologue with these gestures it is very impactful and effective. The body language actually steers and guides the performance and speaks as much as the text.

We do a stopping run just to make sure that everything is in place and nothing is missed and then one more run with no stopping so that Harriet gets a feel for the flow of the monologue.

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Rehearsal report 10

2010-02-26T10:14:00.001Z

I let the ‘Nature Nurture’ cast know about my ‘eureka’ moment and my realisation about the shape and form of the piece. I now believe that the piece is about the impact of the death of one of the children of the family, and the suppressed grief following the accident that caused the death. The accident/loss is the elephant in the room that no one speaks about and the ten minutes that we will show will give a sense of the ‘fall out’ of this incident.

My aim is that the piece will have no meaningful dialogue and may possibly be in total silence. The piece will illustrate the tension that the family live under, the strain of never ever speaking about what has happened, their relationships with each other and their loneliness (co-existing but not really connecting).

A Sound Designer will be joining us to make a sound scape to support the work.

I foresee that very little onstage action will occur.

The cast take the news in their stride once I explain that there won’t be a script but that this doesn’t mean they’ll be improvising; the exchanges that fill the space that the silence will be pre arranged and rehearsed and there’ll be cues and signposts.

We then look at the transcript from the previous long form improvisation session. This is possibly not the best thing to do after I’ve just announced that there’ll be no script and possibly no lines! It gives a mixed message and this confusion resonates throughout the rest of the session.

Our Designer arrives and we try out two prototypes for the jumper straight jacket and identify which one works best. Discussion takes place about costume for the characters.

We work through an improvisation game that explores communication through silence. The performers privately identify a ‘who, what and where’ and then illustrate this through communicating in silence. The results of this exercise are interesting. The communication works best when there is a true connection between the characters, when they make eye contact and we can see their mutual understanding of the situation.

Unfortunately our improvisation is interrupted by music from the next rehearsal room. The rest of the session takes a turn for the worst and ceases to be productive. I am able to ascertain from the performers that they’d prefer to get on with making the work rather than trying out improvisations to establish technique, they are keen to work in character. I now know that this is how we must proceed at the next rehearsal.

Lessons learned through this session are that demonstration is better than telling. Having a sit down at the beginning of the session to ‘brief’ the performers is not as effective as facilitating their performance immediately. Rather than telling them there would be no script and describing to them how I see the piece working, it would have been more useful to bring them into the scene and asking them to perform silently in character for a while, to explore not speaking and the space that silence facilitates, to listen to the silences and to find meaning in them. The performers would then have a sense of my aim on a physical/performance level and they would know how a scene could work like this.

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Rehearsal report 9

2010-02-25T13:27:00.001Z

‘Mother and I’ rehearsal with Ruth (playing Lucinda) and Sarah-Louise (playing Fiona). We’re expecting our writer friend Ewan to come in to look at our work to give us an outside view of the piece.

In advance of Ewan’s arrival I give Ruth and Sarah-Louise a revised script. I point out that I have removed the ending as it was written (a ridiculously extreme ending statement which seems to come from nowhere) and have concluded the scene in a more simple, and possibly more impactful way (with Lucinda having a drink and leaving the stage with a bottle of wine). Ruth is supportive of this ending and suggests that less is indeed more in this instance. Ruth suggests that our (my?) previous pre-occupation with ‘how bad has it got for Lucinda?’ might be misguided because in alcoholism it can always get worse and worse and this is known, Ruth thought that in the situation that we were in is actually more subtle and the smaller things are more interesting than the bigger things. We all review the script again and take out other instances where the writing goes further than is necessary. I am most satisfied with these revisions. The script now seems more truthful and more human and more about the two characters involved than a generic situation.

Ewan arrives and we show him a very dry run. Ewan reassures us that we do have something that will be presentable for the festival on 6^th March and describes briefly the work that he thinks needs to be done. He thinks it is especially important to harmonise Ruth and Sarah Lou’s performances, to establish the relationship between the two characters, and to look at the levels of emotional intensity. Thanks to Ewan for coming along.

We spend some time looking at the physicality of the characters and establish Fiona’s strength by her leading from her upper chest and shoulders, Fiona walks quickly and with purpose and direction, she is busy and has a lot to cope with. Lucinda leads from her chin, almost as if she is struggling to keep her head steady. She has a much slower pace representative of the fact that she has little going on in her life so has plenty of time to do things.

We run the script, thinking about how the characters would speak. Fiona finds a middle class accent and speaks in her lower range, this is quite different from her usual speaking voice and brings the level of her performance up considerably while still remaining naturalistic. Ruth is still experimenting and tries to inject some Yorkshire accent to make her character slightly more naturalistic and less stereotypical. Ruth keeps slipping into her upper range which sounds quite childlike. I make Ruth aware that lower tones would work better to sound older. We walk around the space as we run the script to give it some energy. The scene takes place around a table so is prone to becoming static and losing pace. Walking around seems to help rectify this.

We run the script again (again walking around) with an emphasis on emotional intensity. I suggest that the performers invest as much emotional intensity as they possibly can, to take it to an extreme, so that they start to feel comfortable with it, we can then pare this back in the next rehearsal.

Our final task is to ‘translate’ the text. To break it down and investigate what’s behind each line. Ruth prefers to learn her lines very early on in rehearsals so that she can find the truth in them. This is why I undertake this exercise at this time, so that the performers have an idea of my intention when they memorise the words.

A learning point about performers and truths – the performer will find a character truth within them, these truths should be coaxed from the performer, or planted in the performer to be coaxed out and for it to appear that the performer has thought of it themselves, rather than imposed on the performer. (maybe i should learn about NLP?)

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Rollercoaster

2010-02-23T10:28:00.001Z

For the past four days I have been experiencing an emotional rollercoaster of epic proportions. I’ve been surprised by the veracity of it. I have been feeling intense fear in waves that have made me feel physically ill, I have been feeling utterly helpless, there has been a horrible sinking feeling that I thought would never stop.

Just to confuse matters, intermittently I would feel just fine and think the fear had stopped, but then it would begin again, five minutes later, taking over to the extent that I was unable to do anything practical or sensible.

The cause of this feeling has been the creative project that I was working on. It hadn’t come together in my mind. The process has been such an incredible learning curve. I’ve been training to be a writer and the process I have had to use to investigate the creative project was a completely different kind of process all together. One that I had been feeling very ill equipped to deal with.

At one of the lowest ebbs I was fortunate enough to have contact with my Buddhist leader who is a professional dancer with considerable experience of guiding creative processes, her own, and those of others. She supported me by coming into a rehearsal workshop and helping to keep me steady at a pivotal moment. If I had started to waver or wobble in front of the team I was leading, it could have been disastrous. Pauline helped prevent that from happening, helped me see the positives in what I was doing when I was consumed by fear and could only see what was wrong and what wasn’t happening instead of seeing what was fantastic and what was happening.

This set me back on track but still the emotional rollercoaster continued. It got to the point where I thought I was going to have to pull my project out of the festival it is destined to be shown at on 6^th March, to leave my masters degree (having decided that I’m not actually a writer at all) and then I’d have to leave my job too (because they’ve paid a thousand pounds towards my degree) or at least pay back the contribution to my course fees.

The turning point was insignificant really. I went to my MA class where we were all presenting about our forthcoming research projects. I waited until 3^rd to last before I stood up to speak but I did stand up and speak and managed to project a false confidence. The fact I had done something positive seemed to help, and if I find myself in similar circumstances in the future, I will try to do something positive in some way, to help someone or something like that. It was also good to think about the project that will come after the presentation of work at the festival, to work towards something that will come after gave a sense of life beyond the present situation.

A reassuring word from another friend, Jan, who told me that she thought that it would be perfectly acceptable to do a demonstration of the improvisation work we’d been doing as part of the presentation if a more final outcome wasn’t forthcoming also helped ease the tension.

In the bath I had a brainwave. Pauline and myself had had a conversation about how we both thought that, in the improvisation session that had taken place on Sunday, what was unspoken was very interesting. When Pauline commented on this I realised that that was exactly the point I was trying to make about denial and elephants in rooms. In the bath, now feeling slightly more relaxed I realised of course, that’s why I’d been struggling to write the piece, it’s about the unspoken!!

Pauline had mentioned that creative blocks can be for a good reason and can illuminate solutions as well as problems. I think this instance shows that there was a good reason that I was unable to come up with a script, illustrating Pauline’s theory brilliantly! Pauline suggested that breaking down the reasons for the block can be more productive than panicking about them ; asking ‘why is this block happening at this point in the process?’ Another point to note for the future.

I read a play by Jean Claude Van Itallie recently where the characters onstage never actually speak but their voices are heard as sound bytes played over the stage image. This has resonated for me for a while. As I am soaking in bath bubbles I imagine something similar applied to my own piece.

The thought of having a scene where no words are spoken has also been repeatedly coming back to me, it seems a very concise way of illustrating the unspoken. I imagine a combination of a tense silent scene with sound bytes played over the top to give a sense of story, fragments of it, suggestion of it. This idea really pulls out of my panic. I feel that I have something solid. I know what I want to do, want to achieve, want to show. Thank goodness for that.

Next I have to set about gathering the sound bytes, constructing the soundscape and working with the actors on how to play the silences.

This piece is about what goes unspoken, playing silences, and suggestion and finding out how little I can get away with suggesting for the story to resonate.

I feel I can now apply some head space to the other two components of the creative project too now.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me through this difficult period.

There may be another low to come, but now that this one has passed, I think I can keep the faith when the next one hits.

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Rehearsal report 8

2010-02-22T13:30:00.001Z

A four hour session to work on ‘Nature Nurture’

We begin with improvisation exercises. This time the emphasis is on getting the three performers comfortable with spontaneously trying out ideas in given situations and also bouncing off each other to generate exchanges.

We then go into character using an exercise called ‘Fast Food Laban’ where we establish how the character moves and which part of the body leads. I ask the performers to come together to make a family photograph where the status of the characters and their relationships to each other can be ascertained by their posture and positioning. Then I ask them to tell me their story.

We undertake some deeper character work. I ask the performers to spend some time summarising their character biography. We’ve already had a lot of discussion about character and the family’s situation, but I want to formalise this and to glean as much as I can from the performers to get the greatest possible sense of their view on their characters.

We share the biography work. I enjoy all of the interpretations of the characters and the small stories that emerge, Arnold’s attempted escape when he was eighteen, how Frank used to walk Jean to work when she had a job at the post office, Frank’s relationship with his parents and the fact that his father died before he had chance to show them that he could produce children. We now have a collective understanding of this family’s sadness.

I ask the performers to go back into character, gather them together for the family portrait again and again, ask them to tell their story. The performers are familiar with the exercise, having tried it out already, and are now further furnished with story to recount to us because we’ve developed this to a fixed state. The speaking family portrait is recorded on dictaphone and filmed. I really enjoy the quality of the story telling, it has a candid tone, like ‘creature comforts’, it is suggestive of the story and the situation without giving too much away and the body language of the characters is telling. The speaking family portrait could feature in the presentation of the work should we want to use it.

Next I ask the performers to set up an improvisation. I ask them to create their status quo, the world they inhabit. The family have spoken about the routine, I ask them to establish the routine, to demonstrate how it works. I leave the room so they can begin the improvisation and immerse themselves in the family’s world.

I return ten minutes later and am delighted by what I find. The family exists! It has a way of existing and a way of communicating and exchanging. There are charged silences. It is banal but it is very engaging. A fascinating world has been created. The improvisation continues for ten minutes. I record it all on my dictaphone to transcribe for the next rehearsal.

In story construction it is typical to disrupt a status quo to generate a dramatic situation. I attempt to disrupt the status quo by delivering a postcard (which is signed ‘love from Frank jnr’ their deceased son).

Frank rips the first postcard to shreds which is striking and could be read in many ways. Of course, the audience wouldn’t know what was written on the postcard so its arrival injects a certain amount of mystery for the audience and Jean is straining to see what has happened.

Status quo resumes. I had hoped that the postcard interruption would make more of an impact on the status quo. Possibly need to facilitate this kind of thing better in the future.

I send another postcard. This time Frank takes it to the table and Jean is party to the information. Frank and Jean respond to the postcard ‘who would do this?’

A kind of status quo resumes but something has changed. Arnold has started to ‘act up’, to become demanding. He is curious about the postcard and he sets about trying to find out what it’s all about and trying to get access to Jean without Frank being present. Although he is submissive, he also has control. Various scenes take place in various locations (toilet, bedroom, bathroom) where Arnold experiments with this control.

Lots of material is generated through this long form improvisation which has been recorded on dictaphone and will be transcribed for next session, potentially offering a framework/structure for the piece.

Lessons learned are to pay attention to what the actors are doing, saying, behaving towards each other rather than looking for story. This is a devising process rather than a written one and trying to impose a writing structure in this context is counter-productive. Devising is more about teasing out what’s there.

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Rehearsal report 7

2010-02-19T15:15:00.002Z

In advance of the rehearsal for 'Mother and I' I had transcribed improvisations from the previous session and restructured the script; adding in the new material we’d talked about and improvised around, and had a stab at an ending.
I am not fully convinced by the work I have done on the script so the rehearsal/workshop’s aims were clear. To establish what does and what doesn’t work and to try to work out how to fix any of the problems. I think that the material generated through prior improvisations is sufficient to select from if any more exchange is required. Other ways to fix might be through restructuring/reordering what’s already scripted.
It takes a while to get the rehearsal/workshop moving. This is because of unavoidable delay, ill health and tiredness. We’re all a bit bedraggled! It would not be right to push the rehearsal/workshop forward too aggressively. We are also competing with the noisy performance in the room next door!
We begin by reading through the revised script, and as always, it reads better than I expected. Though there are some obvious problems, strands of logic that seem to come from nowhere (though these are actually appropriate for Lucinda character) and an ending that seems extreme with no lead up to the climax.
We review the transcripts from the improvisations, this doesn’t prove to be the instant solution I had hoped it would be.
We work through the script in the rehearsal room, looking at how performance changes the meanings of the text, we adjust status and look at positioning in the space to emphasis the status shifts. We also look at text and take out anything that lowers Fiona’s status, accusations of affairs, poor parenting skills etc. as these things appear to be truths when they are intended to be demonstrative of Lucinda’s irrational attempts at deflection. We also identify that the beginning is going on too long. All of these things help, but there are still glaring problems with the script, mainly the ending which doesn’t work at all as it is written. Ruth takes a softer slant on the ending in her performance of Lucinda which makes it seem more truthful, but it’s clear that this still needs a lot of work.
Energies and performances are impaired due to the conditions I’ve outlined above and also because the performers are working with scripts in their hands so the exchanges are not at all spontaneous.
I set a deadline to have the text finalised, one week on Saturday.
I agree to consult my tutor and another writer friend about the script and Ruth agrees to contact a mutual friend to see if he’ll come in to look at what we have so far. An outside view is necessary, we’re so close to the work that we can’t be objective.

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Rehearsal report 6

2010-02-18T14:19:00.001Z

It has been over a week since the cast of ‘Nature Nurture’ met for a workshop/rehearsal but I have been thinking about the piece in their absence. There are questions that I am still not able to answer about the family dynamics and I aim to tackle these in the rehearsal room . However, I don’t feel fully equipped to facilitate exploration of these through improvisation exercises. I realise that to improve process for the future I should learn more about workshops and improvisations to find/access what I need to develop the script.

I consult Dean who I know has a lot of experience in delivering and participating in improvisation workshops and he makes various suggestions that I take on board. I’m aware that some practice is required for improvisation to flow. It’s not something that can be just switched on when required. There is an inner ‘self censor’ that inhibits spontaneity and make improvisation frightening and difficulty. This ‘self censor’ has to be overridden and performers need to feel safe for the ideas to flow and for the improvisations to reach their potential.

I prepare various improvisation exercises to warm us up (articulation alphabet, emotional mirror, name the monster, and blind gift)and further exercises that are more specific to my aims (ie gathering material/information about the family dynamic).

We get through the warm up exercises in 25 minutes and we’re all looser as a result of participating in these. It seems strange to then get the performers to all sit round a table and to improvise the routine of a communal meal when we’re revved up with physical energy, but I don’t see any other way to direct the rehearsal/workshop towards what I want to achieve. I leave the room while the cast work on this improvisation. I do this because I want them to feel a sense of ownership over the work, and while I’m in the room watching them, there is a sense that I will guide or direct them. I know that I need them to generate material for me to shape, so it’s important that they feel that they can take the lead.

I return in ten minutes and am presented with the banal atmosphere I was hoping for, though surprisingly lots of conversation and a sense of narrative. The performers naturally gravitate towards some kind narrative logic to their conversation and relationships.

I coach as I am watching. Suggest ‘mantras’ that pass through their minds as they are improvising to see how these affect the mood of the improvisation. Initially everyone chants the same mantra in their subconscious and then I get individuals to take different mantras. We also try out a few status changes.

Next I gather the group together to make sure that they are aware of the developments that have gone on for me in their absence. These are notes about firm decisions that have been made about the characters and their circumstances. I also highlight the questions that need to be answered. I had expected that we would then revisit the meal time routine and explore the family relationship in that context and also look at the other improvisation games I had prepared, but instead we seek to answer various questions about Arnold, and we move into more hotseating.

It seems that Arnold is the key to unlock the story. Why oh why does he stay? Ok, he’s wearing a straight jacket and tied to a chair (and possibly also gagged), but we’re not convinced that that’s even enough of a reason to prevent him from leaving the miserable situation we’ve put him in. We’ve always spoken of the fact that he can free himself from his restraints should he choose to! Dean refers to caged animals who, when their cage door is left open, remain in the cage because they are unsure of what lies beyond. Pete speaks of cults where members are free to leave, but choose to remain, even when they are subjected to oppressive regimes.

We establish at which stage the family’s current circumstances began. I had always envisaged that from birth, the Arnold character would have been overprotected and that his life had always been abnormal. However, when we begin to hot seat, Arnold recounts happy childhood memories. I ask if there has been an incident that has triggered the situation as we find it and we agree that something has happened at some point. This harks back to the monologues that were used in the casting session, which hinted at an incident, that I had dismissed (because in that version of the story it was Arnold who was dysfunctional and I realised that it was more interesting if it were the parents who were dysfunctional).

Of course I’m aware that there should always be an inciting incident in a story, but I am looking for an inciting incident in the more immediate story (ie what we’re actually going to show through the text) where the immediate status quo is threatened and am probably not giving the back story enough attention. I’m really glad that the cast guide me back to this point.

Collectively we identified an incident/accident from the past that is shaping the present. We agree that Arnold wouldn’t have actually done anything wrong but that it would be perceived by his parents that he has, and that something disastrous (or relatively disastrous in the family’s world) is his fault. This blame (used as emotional blackmail) and the subsequent guilt that Arnold experiences is what perpetuates the situation, what keeps him, and the family in stasis; they are unable to move on, and the parents are not facing up to their own responsibility in the disaster.

Dean described an experience from his own life where when he pushed for freedom, he was granted the freedom in an emotionally blackmailing way (ie ‘well, if that’s what you want, go then’). This really rang true to us all as well and we saw this as a way of bringing about the tension of his being able to leave (permitted and able to free himself from his restraints) but not being able to leave at the same time (because of his own guilt/fear of what would happen if he went).

Further discussion takes place about the relationship between Frank and Jean and we conclude that they are very much a double act (initially I had suggested that Jean was rather controlled by Frank). I have researched emotional blackmail and identified various types of emotionally blackmailing personalities, so I feel able to write both characters this way.

We conclude by examining a text that I have prepared to demonstrate my approach to scripting the piece. What I have written is rhythmic direct address story telling that introduces the given circumstances very rapidly. The text reads well and the performers respond positively to it, though Tanja suggests that the denseness (monologue speeches, lots of lists and alliteration) might be broken up by ‘lighter’ dialogue exchanges, pauses and silences. I am in agreement with Tanja.

I feel that we achieve a lot through the discussion that occurs and that it is necessary for it to take place. I am most grateful to the performers who seem ‘raring to go’ with the physical/practical for having patient with the more cerebral process. I think the improvisation warm up that we did, and the exercise where I left the room have really helped with the group dynamics, even though we didn’t draw upon improvisation skills in the session.

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Rehearsal report 5

2010-02-14T21:44:00.002Z

Ruth, Sarah Lou and myself get together for a Sunday afternoon workshop rehearsal for 'Mother and I'
I have been able to prepare for the session by reading the chapter about status in Keith Johntsone’s book ‘Impro’. I have also transcribed the improvisation I recorded on my dictaphone and written the beginnings of a scene so that Ruth and Sarah Lou can explore the characters’ status without having to grasp for words.
We begin by reading through the transcription and the scene and I ask what works and what doesn’t work in each text. We identify that the improvised text is quite a realistic account of a vicious argument between a mother and daughter and that through this argument various information about the characters’ past is exposed, however, there is no story telling. The lines were brought forth spontaneously in the improvisation and and don’t have any particular direction. We acknowledge that the status play between the mother and daughter is very engaging (and Keith Johnstone mentions in his book that any status play makes compelling viewing). We notice that the script that I have written adheres more closely to the objective of the scene, to portray Fiona’s epiphany regarding her mother’s condition, to reveal the extent of Lucinda’s alcoholism, to demonstrate Lucinda’s denial state and the strategies she uses to perpetuate that denial. I tell Ruth and Sarah Lou about the status strategies that Johnstone talks about in his publication, point out where I have used them in the scene.
We agree that the beginning of the scene as written is entirely appropriate and should be kept and that we should now work to a climax and satisfactory conclusion for the scene.
We then have discussion about the stages of alcoholism based on my research and point out where these feature in the script. Once again, the question of ‘how low does/will Lucinda go?’ is considered. We decide that some areas of Lucinda’s personal hygiene are being neglected and that while in the States she goes on alcoholic ‘benders’, attempting to avoid the consequences of certain destructive actions and behaviour. We decide that Fiona will reveal that she has been having regular telephone contact with Lucinda’s husband. This will seem like betrayal to Lucinda and she will feel further ‘backed into a corner’ as a result of this, realising that Fiona is aware of tasteless misdemeanours that she had believed were only known to her husband.
We decide that Lucinda would become abusive/offensive/defensive when backed into a corner and consider how Lucinda will try to gain status over Fiona. We think that between a mother and a daughter the smallest insults could be the biggest insults (boring, prude, perfect, prissy, failure, selfish, uncaring, unfeeling, cold hearted) We also think that any bigger insults would show Lucinda up and lower her status and that inappropriate references (frigid, reference to bedroom) will make Lucinda look very irrational. I explain that Fiona will not be demoralised by Lucinda and will remain high status (though a moral high ground rather than in a position of control).
We play a scene where Lucinda attempts to insult Fiona using the words we have talked about, with Fiona maintaining high status (i suggest that Sarah Lou keeps her head still when she talks, moves slowly, maintains eye contact to retain high status). However, this dynamic is not very effective. Sarah Lou’s playing high status so adamantly is actually limiting. So I suggest turning it around and letting Lucinda have high status, bizarrely Lucinda instantly becomes low status and Fiona remains high, but this is because Fiona is not a high status player so, when Lucinda attempts to lower her it is purely because of her own desperation to maintain her own high status, Lucinda seems unreasonable and desperate and undermines herself . This just goes to show the complexity of status play, it’s about how the message is received as much as the intention behind the message.
The project’s designer Hannah Sibai joins us to have a look at the work we’ve been doing and to talk to Ruth and Sarah Lou about costume. This seems quite straight forward. The performers are to take responsibility for the main items of costume in consultation with Hannah, and Hannah will see to any more complicated items.
Hannah stays and observes for a while and offers her view that there may be more suggestion of Lucinda’s alcoholism apart from the larger misdemeanours written into the text. This brings about a very interesting discussion where we look at physical clues and what and how Lucinda might attempt to conceal. We realise that she will look ill and that the alcohol will have aged her, her breath will smell and her body will also smell of alcohol, these will be difficult to conceal, and Lucinda’s attempts to conceal them (perfume, breath mints, make up) will be as obvious as the problem itself. There will also be concealing of the more drastic behaviours, incontinence being one of them, deemed to be the most demoralising.
Fiona attempting to make Lucinda face up to these things about herself is offensive to Lucinda, so these will seem like insults to her and she will retaliate using the insults that we have already explored.
We improvise another exchange with this in mind and I record it on my dictaphone. I will transcribe the recording again prior to reworking the script.
I ask the performers how the scene might end. Consensus was that this will be a tragic ending with Lucinda continuing to refuse to face up to the problem and ‘threatening’ to go home to the States. We like the idea that she will really show herself up, spit at Fiona in anger (having been so backed into a corner) and then leave the stage taking a bottle of wine with her, a nice contrast to the beginning of the scene where Lucinda is seated onstage with Fiona entering the scene.
We conclude the workshop/rehearsal by running the scene as written so far and timing it. It runs for eight minutes.
We then focus on the first few minutes of the scene, a monologue where Lucinda’s actions and behaviour are entirely contradictory to the words she is speaking. We ensure that there is evidence of an alcoholic hang over in her demeanour. We add Fiona into the scene and explore her subtle reactions to Lucinda’s monologue. A very exciting dynamic is achieved by Fiona doing very little, just turning twice (she has her back to Lucinda otherwise) to look over her shoulder. There is a real sense of anticipation, that Fiona has had a shocking realisation, has something to say and is dreading saying it, but is determined to do so.
I inform the performers that I will continue working on the text and bring it in a revised shape for the next rehearsal on Thursday18th February.

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Rehearsal report 4

2010-02-12T18:27:00.002Z

Prior to rehearsal I meet with Dan Bye, a theatre writer and director from the region, to find out about his writing/devising process. This conversation is affirming; Dan describes a couple of different approaches and I pick up a few practical tips about how to shape improvisation and how to use it to its best advantage ('coach' the improvisation by calling things out to the performers or by writing them notes when only one character needs to make a change or be privileged with knowledge that the other characters aren't party to, tell the performers that its ok to 'fail', and to be aware that sometimes seeing things that don't work can illuminate as to how things will work). Dan also reminded me of a story 'rule' that I had temporarily forgotten, that the stakes have to be high and that it has to be of life or death importance (or mean that much to the characters) for the audience to really engage with the story. Thanks to Dan for generously giving up his time and sharing his experience with me.
So, I go into the 'Mother and I' rehearsal/workshop considerably boosted and reassured that I'm not insane for going into rehearsals without a script. I realise that I am further along in the process than I am giving myself credit for.
Sarah Lou joins Ruth and myself for rehearsals, having taken on the role of 'Fiona'. We spend some time filling Sarah Lou in on the back story that Ruth has developed for 'Lucinda' as well as giving her a more detailed premise of the story we are attempting to tell. We talked about their relationship, the fact that Lucinda would hand Fiona over to someone else (her grandmother) when she became challenging (though just the usual challenges, terrible twos etc) and that Fiona was very self sufficient, having been an only child and isolated by her mother's emotional distance from her. We thought that Fiona would be entirely comfortable with Lucinda's presence in her home as a result, and a little bit bewildered and unsure by her interest in her since her father (Lucinda's husband) had died and her mother had remarried and moved away to the states.
We are all in agreement that Fiona is a 'pressure cooker' character who puts up with a lot and says very little but when pushed to the limits will explode.
Then we think about raising the stakes. We asked how bad had it got for Lucinda (and consequently Fiona, the protagonist)? Recent incidents to indicate the extent of Lucinda's drink problem include :
- getting a taxi to the airport and trying to buy a flight (no luggage with her), the airport realising her drunken state and alerting the police who then had to contact Fiona for her to be collected from the station after being cautioned for being 'drunk and disorderly'.
- going to the old family home having forgotten that she no longer lives there, going inside and being aggressive to the people who now live there (them recognising her and handling with care and contacting Fiona rather than Police to come to get her).
- getting excessively drunk on flight to UK and wetting herself on plane, having to be assisted by cabin crew.
- being flirtatious/suggestive/inappropriate with Fiona's husband.
- violence & aggression, uninhibited behaviour.
I describe how I see a scene where Fiona attempts to confront her mother about the behaviour working. Silence on the part of Fiona and a lot of talking from Lucinda, apparently unaware of what's gone on the night before and Fiona's simmering anger, making comments about the newspaper or other general trivia. Eventually Fiona is no longer able to keep quiet, a comment from Lucinda, some kind of button pushing criticism, sets her off and we learn the full fury of Fiona's resentment and parts of the back story are revealed.
We set about an improvisation, not to explore the scene as I see it, but to explore the relationship between the two actresses and the two characters. What I've said about the stakes being high has filtered through and it's exciting to watch, we start with a very direct confrontation 'So, do you want to talk about last night?' and the level of intensity is high. Lines that I particularly liked during this exchange were :
Fiona 'Yeah, why not, let's just brush everything under the carpet and go to 'Marks and Spencers'
Lucinda 'I'm only trying to help'
Fiona 'I'd just like to spend some time with my mother'
Fiona 'You don't show people who 'you' are'
Fiona 'You don't change, do you mum?'
Fiona 'I'm sick and tired of having to defend you to my husband, he doesn't want you in this house'
Lucinda 'Your husband wants me off the scene for reasons other than those you're admitting to'
Lucinda (whispering)'This time you've taken it too far'
Lucinda 'Then bloody well behave like one'
Lucinda 'I'm having a drink because of what you're doing to me'
Then the intensity dropped and Lucinda and Fiona began to get on well, so I stopped the improvisation.
We go back to the improvisation and this time Lucinda works harder to deflect Fiona's direct confrontation, bringing up Fiona's failings and making statements that upset Fiona. This improvisation is even more intense and even more engaging and Ruth's strategy of having Lucinda attempt to disarm Fiona through criticism is very effective. I record this exchange on my dictaphone.
I ask how low Lucinda will go. We begin to talk about what kind of mental state Lucinda should be in in her drunken state and in her morning after state and about Lucinda's status. We realise that the status play for Lucinda is very complex. I want to explore this further through improvisation but Ruth feels that it would be more constructive for her to have a text to work with so that we can work through status and different types of drunkenness/mental states without her having to think about a logical dialogue.
We conclude the rehearsal/workshop with a plan to undertake further research into the behaviour and mental states of alcoholics, for me to look into the chapter on status in 'Impro' by Keith Johnstone and for me to generate a text that can be used to explore the elements above at the next workshop/rehearsal.
Observations on writing this report are that Lucinda is a very complex antagonist. We have to understand Lucinda implicitly for Fiona to be equipped to disarm her.

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Rehearsal report 3

2010-02-10T10:42:00.001Z

This week work began on the second component of 'Elephant in the Room', 'Mother and I', a two hander that explores the nature of denial in addiction (alcoholism in this case) as experienced by 'Lucinda' and her daughter 'Fiona'.

Ruth and I begin rehearsal/workshops in the absence of the other actress required for the piece. I have held back from casting the role so far because I haven't been able to find the combination of youthfull appearance and mature performance style that I am looking for. This combination seems necessary as Ruth is ageing up 23+ years to play 'Lucinda', so it seems sensible to find an actress who looks younger to play her daughter.

At the casting session I requested that attendees bring character appropriate footware. This was for two reasons. Firstly because it would give me a sense that the performer and I were singing from the same hymn sheet regarding the character, and secondly because footware assists in movement and the physicality of the performance. Character research into Lucinda continues along this vein with myself researching the kind of shops where the character would find her clothing etc. and identifying various outfits and shoes for her to demonstrate to Ruth (and Designer Hannah) how 'Lucinda' should appear. Prior to the rehearsal/workshop I had set Ruth off on the task of finding a soundtrack for Lucinda and Ruth had found that this required her to dig deeply into the character's given circumstances. Ruth came to rehearsal equipped with a substantial back history.

We discuss the back history. We considered Lucinda's social status as Ruth and I have differing views. I had imagined Lucinda to come from a 'well to do' upper middle class family, but Ruth thinks that she would have been from a step slightly lower and climbed socially on marrying her first husband (and cut off her own family after meeting him). Initially I am unsure but realise that Ruth has discovered a real character truth, this is one of the underlying factors in Lucinda's problems and is representative of what is at the core of Lucinda, the fact that she doesn't feel she is good enough. This is also a whole level of denial that I hadn't considered. The denial that underpins the addiction in the first place. The addiction as an avoidance strategy, which is then itself denied. - lesson learned here, try not to stick too ridgidly to 'story' or perception of characters at the start, more work towards a theoretical/thematic/exploritory aim, in this case 'how can denial in addiction be best represented'.

We also consider the family dynamic and the mother daughter relationship between the two characters, the relationship between Lucinda and her first husband, and her new relationship with her second husband. We think about Lucinda in the present day and what some of the struggles with her new lifestyle in the states might be like. We discuss her love of growing tomato plants (another diversion, healthier than drinking, but an avoidance strategy never the less and possibly a light hearted conversation topic used to disarm/divert when cross examined about her behaviour and drinking).

Then we set about on an improvisation. I had intended that this would be an exploration of a morning after some extreme behaviour from Lucinda, but we realise that first we needed to work out what has happened the night before. So we change our plan and 'hot seat' Lucinda in a drunken and incoherent state. This is very effective.

'I miss Marks and Spencers', 'no one walks anywhere in the states, not even to the bottom of their own gardens to mow the lawn, they have 'sit in' lawn mowers', 'i'm always very very polite', 'and all i do is sit there (drinks)', 'i don't want to play bridge, it's a slippery slope to old age' (more denial here, denial of her ageing and more sedentary lifestyle), 'Gerald doesn't understand, he thinks I should be happy in 'the land of opportunity', 'there's nothing for me in England now' etc. etc.

From Ruth's performance it becomes evident that a younger looking actress isn't as essential. Ruth's manerisms and vocal tones are extremely convincing of a mature woman. With this in mind I am able to reconsider casting someone who has the right performance quality for the 'Fiona' character but who isn't the fresh faced 21 year old that I had originally thought was necessary.

We quickly visit this actress and confirm that she is entirely appropriate to play 'Fiona'. Sarah Lou will join us at our next rehearsal/workshop on Thursday.

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Rehearsal report 2

2010-02-05T15:03:00.000Z

I don’t think I communicated exactly what I wanted when I set the cast of ‘Nature Nurture’ off on a task to find an alternative reason for the giving of a birthday gift in the scene I had written (where the gift turns out to be a very constrictive jumper, so constrictive that it’s actually a kind of straight jacket). Need to work out how I can make sure I communicate/set tasks so that I get the results I’m looking for. I didn’t get the response I expected but I did get some response to the work so we proceeded with these ideas.

Pete suggests that we try the scene in a hyper real ‘US TV from the 1960s’ style with saccharin/fake happiness as an attitude. This gives a certain dynamic to the scene and demonstrates that the family are not facing up to the horror of the situation.

Pete thinks that Arnold is objectified by his parents and that if he were dead, they’d care for the corpse and barely notice. We ask what keeps Arnold in the home, ask why he stays there and doesn’t try to escape more aggressively. Pete refers to the Fritzl case (the ‘story’ in ‘Nature Nurture’ has always featured Arnold’s captivity, kept ‘safe’ inside the home by his parents) and to Stockholm syndrome where the victim feels lovingly towards their captor. We talk about the parent’s motivation to keep Arnold captive, about Munchausen by proxy where parents fake illness in their children to get attention, we explore how Arnold might be brain washed into thinking he can’t survive with out them.

The whole cast are enjoying the idea that the jumper doubles up as a straight jacket. Dean also responds to the scene I’ve written with more ideas; thoughts he has had as a result of the scene I’ve given him and the suggestion that the birthday/gift giving ritual in the scene are not actually because its Arnold’s birthday :

- Bedtime story as allegory

- Torture by birthday party – including party hats with elastic that cuts in to skin, hot and cold and sweet foods that are too hot, too cold and too sweet.

- Being confined by bed clothes – ‘tucked in too tight’ – especially appropriate if having bedtime story.

It is reassuring that my intention and the ideas that I want to explore are coming through from the short scene that I’ve already written and the brief introduction I have given about the project’s aims.

Other ideas that are thrown about are :

- Arnold sleeping in bed with his parents

- Him being burped like a baby (he’s mid 30s)

- Arnold having no comprehension of outside world

- Frank opening and closing curtains and reporting on weather/day outside but Arnold never actually seeing it himself.

We ask if the doors are locked. We think about how Arnold would be ‘institutionalised’ and have a distorted world view due to his lack of experience; he can only understand that which he has been exposed to. We ask what would happen if the doors were left unlocked and he had the opportunity to escape? Would he take that opportunity? Would he be equipped to deal with freedom? Or would it be too much for him? Would he be agoraphobic? We realise that Arnold would be highly attuned to the small things around him as his experience of life is so narrow, he would be able to read signs and signals that he may not have become so sensitive to if he had had a wide variety of stimulus. In the absence of the normal world, insignificant things have become significant and his ability to read his parents moods, behaviours could potentially be very profound.

We consider Arnold’s attempted escape as a game/a ritual/ a ‘playing up’ behaviour but that it is never Arnold’s real intention to leave (look at in a future workshop). We consider if Arnold is actually able to free himself from his confines and can choose to be confined or otherwise. Perhaps, when his parents leave him alone, he can free himself and do as he pleases?

I consider a sound effect, an opening and closing door with the sound of a key locking the lock that would be able to represent his confinement further, and also when/if the door is accidentally unlocked.

We consider the presence of a postcard, concealed by Arnold, to represent freedom, or the fact that he has contact with someone beyond his confinement.

Pete creates a nice stage image : playing with an airplane or playing airplane arms. Pete suggests there might be other toys.

I ask about ‘diversions’ or ‘escapism’ in everyday, hobbies, distractions from the mundane. I suggest that Jean knits obsessively and that her great and repressed need to ‘escape’ is represented by an exaggeration of this distraction/diversion in that a knitting is a big feature in the piece (including a knitted jumper/straightjacket and possibly a whole series of them to show that this is perpetual).

Practical exercise, I improvise a story made up of components of fairy tales and Tanja and Dean take one side of Pete each and literally move him like a giant puppet. We undertake this exercise because we see that Pete would be physically manipulated by his parents, put into his clothing and into bed and into his straightjacket jumper etc.

We hot seat each character. We also look at how the character might move in the space before they sit down in the hot seat. We start with Arnold who has an uncanny way of moving where his head points in one direction but his shoulder leads his body in another. This is effective and gives a sense of internal conflict, cerebral activity and 'plotting'. Arnold’s speaking/thinking in the hotseat is very deeply psychological, a feature in the character as we explored in the casting workshop but one that I now want to move away from. We can work on this at a later date.

Next we look at Jean. Her movement style leads from her knees and hands which makes her seem unsure. There is a melancholic, passive feel to Jean which has been there since Tanja auditioned for the part. Jean seems resigned to her situation, this seems appropriate to me. In the hotseat Jean ‘blocks’ certain questions, refusing to follow the line of questioning. For example, answering ‘I would stop.’ to the question ‘what would you do if Arnold left home?’. This ‘blocking’ is not bad improvisation, it is instictive, it gives an insight into Jean’s inability to see her life beyond the routine that is established. I think this gives a sense of a vacuum in which the family exist and I like the unreality of this.

Frank’s movement around the space is directional and gives a sense of purpose but at the same time seems futile because his direction keeps changing, like a caged animal marking the perimiter of their confined space. Frank’s movement leads from the chest, fists quite clenched and it as if Frank is looking for something or being territorial. I like this dynamic. When seated the dynamic of Frank alters again and we see a kind of military Frank, precise and controlling but quite upbeat, rather than dark.

Throughout this rehearsal/workshop I am at times unsure how to lead. I mention this and ask if anyone else in the group has any ideas where we can take the workshop and any exercises we can try out and ideas do come forward which is very helpful and supportive and productive. It is acknowledged that a director can be out of practice and that it takes a while for performers to be ‘match fit’ when improvising as well.

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Review - Me and Me Dad

2010-02-04T23:02:00.001Z

I had another reviewing assignment for whatsonstage.com at Hull Truck Theatre. This time we got to go to the press night and were provided with delicious fish pie, a recipe which featured in the play!

Here is my review :

http://www.whatsonstage.com/reviews/theatre/northeast/E8831264875308/Me+and+Me+Dad+(Hull+Truck+Theatre).html

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Rehearsal report 1

2010-02-03T15:01:00.001Z

The first meeting of the cast for one third of 'Elephant in the Room' took place yesterday evening.

I ran through 'housekeeping' things, a health and safety induction (i had to risk assess 'falling from standing' and 'falling from chair' believe it or not) and practicalities of the rehearsal space and schedule. I also touched upon the other two thirds of the project, told everyone about the designer we're working with and described the context of each of the platforms where the work will be shown.

Next we did introductions, everyone spoke in depth about their past experience and their working styles. It was good to share this information so that we were all singing from the same hymn sheet regarding our knowledge of each other. It also put everyone at ease. I'm glad that I took the time out to factor this into the session.

So, most of session one was talking and I was concerned that it would drag on, but it didn't. It was engaging and exciting and I now have a handle on the group's expectations of me and the project, and I have an insight into how they might work.

We concluded by looking at a scene that is the germinal idea for the piece, the giving of a birthday gift and the presentation of a cake with candles, and I have asked the cast to come back this evening with a fresh take on the action that is out of the context of an actual birthday. It will be very interesting to see what they come up with.

I am slightly concerned that the work will shift away from the 'elephant in the room' theme. Just a niggle really, but perhaps some of my ideas are too complicated for a ten minute piece. I'm not going to let that bother me too much at this stage though.

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Logo

2010-01-31T11:18:00.004Z

Other creative people on procrastination

2010-01-14T17:07:00.001Z

Have had responses from other creative people following my recent posts about procrastination and productivity.

This blog post : http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/avoiding-avoidance.html - thanks to Supriya who found it and a recommendation to look up Ellen Degener (who has something to say on the subject) 's 'Here and Now' from Mattie .

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Pareto Principle

2010-01-07T11:29:00.001Z

Here is a quote from Brian Tracey's book 'Eat that Frog - 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time '

'You have probably heard of the 'Pareto Principle', named after it's founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the “vital few,” the top 20 percent in terms of money and influence, and the “trivial many,” the bottom 80 percent.

He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this principle as well. For example, this principle says that 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results, 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your sales, 20 percent of your products or services will account for 80 percent of your profits, 20 percent of your tasks will account for 80 percent of the value of what you do, and so on. This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth five or ten times or more than the other eight items put together.'

Tracey's book recommends that you identify the most difficult item on your 'to do' list every morning and tackle that one first. In his view, the most difficult item is likely to be 'worth' more than the other items on the list and will generate more value than the other tasks. Only once the 20 percent tasks have been finished should you move on to the less valuable 80 percent tasks.

In the past 12 months there have been periods where I have worked so hard that I have burned myself out. My hard work has yielded results but at considerable cost to my health and other areas of my life. Operating in such a dysfunctional way has impacted on the quality of my work.

I think at times I have put my energy and directed my focus into the more trivial 80 percent of the task rather than directing it to the more valuable 20 percent tasks and I'm now seeking to rectify that with Brian Tracey's advice in mind.

Which brings me to my thoughts for today. With a theatre production, what constitutes the top 20 percent valuable activity? In the past three days I have been working really hard on organisational tasks including arranging a casting session and fostering the interest of various performers and creative team. This energy expenditure has detracted from my writing process. A well constructed play at the heart of the production is essential for it's success, but as I see it, if the performers are not skilled or confident in delivery, having been carefully selected, well prepared and rehearsed, any good writing will fall by the wayside. Or will it? Will good writing ring true, even in the light of a terrible production? Would I be better off ploughing my heart and soul into a breathtaking text and then knocking the production together ad hoc, further down the line?

To date, I have always said that integrity is paramount, and that I'd rather put together a production with a very solid foundation than sell myself down the river for a few bells and whistles. However, perhaps my value system is different to other people's?

Does anyone else think that the integrity of the production text is top priority?

My next question is, is writing this blog really in my 20 percent value creating activity? Right now, probably not, but in the long term? Possibly?!

And on that note, I am going to crack on with my most difficult task of the day.

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The year twentyten - looking forward

2010-01-02T20:31:00.002Z

It seems so cliched to write a new year post but I really feel like I have to do write one to crack on with what lies ahead.

First and foremost, I have to write 'The Elephant in the Room Trilogy'. I have been working on the project with a light touch for the past few months but now the deadline for delivery of the project is looming. I have to organise casting in the next week and make sure I have sufficient script for an audition, to be able to make decisions about suitability for roles. Then I have to get the script in near final shape by beginning of February when rehearsals will take place. Performance will be in the first week of March and again in April and then I hope to find a couple of other platforms for the work throughout the year.

My bad for not being further along with the script and having it fully in shape prior to casting. This project won't be the first time I've done this and previously I have been able to deliver, so I'm confident that I can do the same this time. I'd be interested to hear from anyone with a point of view about this way of working.

At the moment it seems that I have to be very close to deadline before my work becomes watertight. I've spoken to numerous people about this; asked about their working practice and their view on procrastination; seeking their reassurance that leaving the writing until the almost last minute was not some kind of self jeopardy; questioning if I am really a writer at all; expecting that a 'real' writer should wake up every morning with a hunger for writing and be unable to stop themselves bashing away at a keyboard or scribbling away in a notebook rather than putting it off and putting it off and putting it off.

The people I have consulted have reassured me that procrastination is actually pretty normal. Phew. Still room for improvement though. I acknowledge that the further ahead of myself that I can get, the more time I have to improve the work and develop the outcome. I want to bring my practice along so that my work is a better quality and so I'm more productive.

My next major task over the next month is to complete and submit a portfolio for assessment for my masters degree accompanied by a critical analysis. The module title is 'Story Workshop' and naively I thought that at some point in my classes I would learn what constituted a good story. I haven't learned what makes a good story, but I have begun to learn how to tell a story strategically to maximise engagement and enjoyment. Pennies have dropped. I've learned about narrative and narrator, their relationship with audience/reader and the difference between story and plot.

Writing something with a head full of theory is frustrating, in fact I have to turn my thinking brain off when I write and go with my gut instincts. Applying the theory to my creative work once it's written is quite difficult because I'm too close to be fully objective. So I write, attempt to critically evaluate and gauge my 'success' on both counts according to the feedback from my Tutor. More learning takes place once i've had feedback, valuable reflective learning.

Eventually, with enough experience I think I should be able to strike more of a balance between getting the instinctive stuff out onto the page and then thinking strategically about how to shape it and move it forward.

So, this is what's on my mind at the beginning of the year. Lots to do, lots to learn.

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Review - Pinocchio (Hull)

2009-12-14T22:25:00.001Z

I went to Hull at the weekend to review Hull Truck's Pinocchio for WhatsOnStage.

You can read my review here :

http://www.whatsonstage.com/reviews/theatre/northeast/E8831260824562/Pinocchio+(Hull).html

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One week, three genre

2009-12-12T09:20:00.003Z

Nothing focusses the mind like a deadline.

My final MA class was a week last Tuesday (not Tuesday just passed, Tuesday before that) and it wasn't until that class that I really formulated the idea I had for the portfolio that I needed to submit for assessment. Portfolio hand in (interim hand in, not final deadline) was yesterday. My Tutor told us that a balanced portfolio would consist of a short story (prose) a short film and a short theatre piece, word limit of 5,000 (that's between the three, not 5,000 each) and that each piece had to link to the other, either thematically or by some other means.

The really big challenge has been moving through the three genre, each one is a different discipline. In prose for example you can write the inner workings of a character's mind into the story, you can tell the audience what they are thinking. In film you tell the story through pictures and in theatre you use dialogue exchange to reveal the story (this is a non exhaustive list of the differences, i know there are many more). I have found moving in and out of each discipline really quite odd and have had to take a break in between each one to ease myself into the next!

Reading prose, films or theatre has helped me move from one mode to the other and there has been a lot of warming up and false starts before the work really flowed. What has been most entertaining has been when I have found myself off on a tangent that wasn't working, I've had a couple of characters who just wouldn't co-operate! These instances indicated that the story I had planned wasn't sufficiently truthful to continue.

In just over a week I have managed to write a short story, short film and a short theatre play (solid first drafts of these, not finished article just yet). The work is linked by the central protagonist. Each short piece focusses on a turning point in the protagonist's life. Individually they are complete stories with beginning, middle and (conclusive) end, collectively they illustrate the cause and effect oof the protagonist's life and the actions she takes to negotiate her circumstances.

It's work in progress and at the moment I'm still finding ways to maximise on the cause and effect element of the portfolio, I'm not sure how obvious the links in the work are right now. Feedback from my Tutor will help me establish this, and also some time away from the work for reflection and some reading over the Christmas break.

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Image thanks to BitBoy

2009-12-06T21:04:00.002Z

The Elephant in the Room
Originally uploaded by BitBoy

I came across this image when I google searched 'Elephant in the Room'.

It's a photograph taken at Banksy's 'Barely Legal' exhibition which was on in LA in 2006.

The photographer, BitBoy, has given me permission to use the image as publicity for my trilogy. I am really pleased. I think using the striking image will assist with my next interaction with the Newstages Committee, a more detailed proposal which is due in tomorrow.

Thanks to BitBoy. You can find more of his photos here.

progress

2009-11-27T10:48:00.003Z

I heard back from the Newstages Committee. They were sympathetic to my workload and rather than producing a full script at the beginning of December they'll be happy for me to present a project plan. I'm really pleased that they haven't rejected 'The Elephant in the Room Trilogy' by default just because i don't have a script yet. Standards and expectations seem very high and i suspect the Committee are being quite ruthless in their selection and rejection of work.

I am also contributing to the Newstages festival as part of a project called 'Herstory' and this week i have done a lot of work on the text for this piece. The text has been put together from a statement of a real life experience and my task was to shape and order the text into a ten minute monologue. Having two thousand words of statement to work with is a much more comfortable starting point than a blank page/screen and an imagination full of incoherent ideas. It has been really satisfying to get the monologue to a stage where i can consider it a job well done and a task crossed off my extensive 'to do' list (and four days before deadline too!). More work will be needed on the text once the performers have been cast and rehearsals have begun and i will be involved in this process, but for now I can move onto the other things i have to do.

So, my next task is to develop a five thousand word portfolio which will be assessed for my MA. I already have the beginnings of three short stories and i'm going to continue working on these and select the best for the portfolio. Over the next three days however, I'm going to start really shaping up 'The Elephant in the Room Trilogy' so that i'm prepared when the Committee get back in touch regarding my project plan. What would be really wonderful is if I could get one or two of the trilogy drafted up to submit as part of my portfolio. It is possible that my trilogy won't be 'right' to satisfy the assessment critera as the module is all about story and the trilogy's emphasis might be elsewhere. We'll see how the writing goes...

I have put out a call for interest for the trilogy. I haven't gone into detail in my call, just said i was looking for performers and creative /team on a small scale Theatre project in Leeds. I've had a good response which is very encouraging. I've only heard from one male performer! I don't know why but I often write male characters so this is not ideal. More searching required on the men front I think.

I have noticed a significant increase in the number of people coming reading my blog. Thank you for popping in. Do feel free to leave a comment or to send me an email.

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project proposal

2009-11-15T12:37:00.002Z

I have put a proposal in to the Newstages 2010 Committee.

Newstages 2010 is a festival that takes place at the School of Performance and Cultural Industries at the University of Leeds. This is where i am a part time MA Student studying 'Writing for Performance and Publication' in my second (and final) year. Last year one of my pieces of work 'Antithesis' was in the Newstages 2009 festival, details of which can be found here.

'Antithesis' had been put together and had already been performed as part of the Midget Gems tour in September/October 2008 so it was all ready to go when it came to Newstages. All we needed to do was have a few rehearsals and adjust to the new space and the performance was back up to speed. The Committee enthusiastically accepted my proposal last year and it was great to have an opportunity to show this work.

This year it's different. I had hoped that over the summer period in between year one and this year that i'd have time to get started on another project, but when summer came i really needed a break I had experienced considerable ill health and needed to recover so i decided to conserve my energy. I am feeling well again and i can see that this was the right thing to do but now i'm in the position where i'm making a proposal to the Committee but the work is yet to be written let alone rehearsed.

It has taken me a couple of months to get back into my stride and my creative energy has been taken up writing prose necessary for one of my MA modules. I have had an anxious six weeks where i have been completely drawing a blank with my script work. Although my short story writing has been going well i have been spending a lot of time staring at a blank page/computer screen when i have tried to write theatre.

Thankfully a visit from Emma Adams who is currently working with Red Ladder Theatre Company has helped to reinvigorate me. When Emma spoke about her own work in one of our classes I realised what was frustrating me about mine. In a future post i will go into more detail about this but in a nutshell she advised me to identify the essence of the story i was telling and to pin down what excited me the most about the stories i wanted to tell.

Another serendipitous occurrence is that a play i put forward for the students' script reading group, 'Interview' by Jean Claude Van Itallie has been selected to study. So i have been re-emersed in the theatrical landscape/vocabulary of Jean Claude Van Itallie, one of the playwrights who most inspired me as an undergraduate.

The culmination of all this is that i have reconnected with what i want to achieve theatrically and with a renewed enthusiasm and confidence the framework for a project has come together in my imagination. I have decided i want to write a trilogy of short plays that tackle various issues in british culture/society and our denial of these issues, 'The Elephant in the Room Trilogy'.

And so, i have made my proposal to the Committee. And their response to my proposal was to request a full script due in the first week of December. There's no way i can provide a script for then. I have to compile a 5000 word portfolio for my MA course and have to prioritise this until December 10th. The earliest i can have a script ready (and a draft script at that) will be early January. I have communicated this to the Committee and await their reply...

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surprise!

2009-11-13T22:14:00.003Z

I've often heard writers discussing new work and saying 'i saw that coming' or 'i didn't see that coming' in reference to narrative. They attribute considerable significance to this element of surprise in the story, in fact it seems to make or break their enjoyment of the work.

Until now this always baffled me a bit.

I have an 'all round' experience of performing, acting, directing, devising, management and technical support as well as writing (in theatre and some film). I can relate to and enjoy so many different elements of a production that the predictability or unpredictability of the story is not so imperative to my enjoyment. If the storyline is not very dynamic I tend to find there's a different emphasis, it will be visual or physical or technical or experimental, and i will enjoy these features.

However, now I have specialised i must assume a writer's perspective, and it has been brought to my attention that a greater element of surprise is required in my own writing.

So, i'm keeping a beady eye out for and having a real think about surprising work.

Last night I saw 'Dead of Night' by Imprint Theatre Company ; a ventriloquist dummy (actually an actress performing the dummy) who appeared from a chest that had been located on the stage for the duration of the performance was a delicious surprise. The actress had been inside the chest for over an hour before she emerged. The fact that the dummy was eerily convincing was very engaging, and the fact that part way through the story the dummy actually began to speak for itself was yet another fresh, surprising offering.

Another great example can be found in Laurence Timm's 'Chinnery' the first five chapters of which can be found here . Have a read and you'll see what happens in chapter five. What i particularly like about this element of surprise is that suddenly we're presented with an entirely new mode of exposition. We're also introduced to lots of new things in this chapter in a wonderfully economic way, a new 'underground' environment, an organisation behind the scenes, a new character (the other voice in the transcript) and we see the story from another perspective. All very stimulating and exciting and unexpected.

I'm going to have to dig deeper to search out more subtle story surprises, the ones that the writer's say they didn't see coming. A story that springs to mind is Jim Cartwright's 'Two' where the loss of the Publican and his Wife's Son in a car accident is revealed, the juxtaposition of the horror of this incident set against the colourful backdrop of pub life. Could i see that coming though? It's certainly clear that something is coming, there are allusions leading up to the climax.

Something for me to continue thinking about and exploring.

one story 3 ways part 1

2009-11-06T16:00:00.004Z

1st person, present tense

‘Bloody taxis,’ I say as I fall out of the taxi, ‘don’t make the bloody door holes big enough.’ I’m always falling out of them. Spend a lot of time on the floor. Glynn pays the driver. Good job ‘cos I’m skint.

I find my way inside. No point in dawdling about on the pavement. It’s not my usual kind of place. It’s upmarket. You have to show that you’re confident, to make sure you blend in with the clientele.

I can hear my heels clacking on the marble floor. It echoes. There’s a high ceiling.

I like it, it’s very contemporary. Brown sofas and low glass tables and the same brown leather on the stools at the bar, where I wait, for my companion to catch up and buy a round.

I peruse the cocktail menu and order the most expensive on the list.

Glynn finally plucks up the courage to come inside. He’s wearing a suit jacket especially for the occasion. He’s also wearing trainers. I look at him enduringly until he submits and lets me put his debit card behind the bar for a tab.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have done that, but I bet he thinks all his Christmases have come at once; out on a night on the town with me.

one story 3 ways part 2

2009-11-06T16:00:00.000Z

3^rd person, past tense

The taxi pulled up in the City Centre, and she tumbled out of it, giggling. She had already consumed two bottles of wine before she’d even left the house. Her male companion exited the cab more sensibly and paid the driver as she straightened herself and headed impatiently for their destination.

She pushed through the glass doors of the upmarket cocktail bar and made her way into the contemporary setting, brown leather sofas and low glass tables, with the same leather on tall steel struts for stools at the highly polished granite bar.

Her companion did not follow immediately, he paused, apprehensively outside. He was not as at ease with the scenario, unaccustomed to the ambience of establishments such as this one and already wary of the level of inebriation being demonstrated by the friend who had strode on ahead.

Her shoes clack, clack, clacked on the marble flooring under foot, drawing attention to her, turning heads and disturbing conversation. These were the same scuffed plastic heels that had tripped and stumbled along the City Centre’s pavements many, many nights before.

Feeling slightly vulnerable, standing alone at the bar and not wanting to lose face; she busied herself, grasping for a menu, making a quick assessment before she set the Barman to work on two of the most expensive champagne cocktails on the list.

The Barman hesitated very slightly. There was something brazen in her request that stirred his gut, but he could not put his finger on what. A seductive glint in her eye put a stop to his thoughts and he was giddy for a moment with her mischief; encouraged to follow through on her order.

When her companion finally plucked up the courage to come inside, head down, trying to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible, he was greeted with a Kir Royale and the expectant look that indicated it was his responsibility to pay for the drinks.

He searched the pockets of his ill fitting garment, his first ever suit jacket, purchased for him by his Mother, and pulled out a grubby canvas wallet that was as inappropriate as his footwear. When he was presented with the bill, folded over discreetly on a little silver platter he looked shocked and confused. He wasn’t even aware that alcoholic drinks could cost as much as this.

He needn’t have worried though as he was assisted in making the payment, in fact his debit card was liberated and placed in the till for a tab. The barman exhaled and relaxed again, someone was now liable for what ever damage this frivolous young woman might cause.

She smiled at the barman cheekily, sensing his thoughts, crossing her legs and winding her ankles. She kicked the back of her shoe off and then on again, and off and then back on as she coaxed her paying companion up onto the bar stool next to hers.

one story 3 ways part 3

2009-11-06T15:57:00.001Z

2nd person, future tense

You will fall out of the taxi, having drunk two bottles of wine before you’ve even left the house. When you hit the ground, you will not feel the pain because you will be numbed by the booze.

You will notice that your shoes are scuffed and you will feel slightly embarrassed, remembering how you stumbled before, in similar circumstances. You will curse the taxi and all other taxis for having door ways that are not wide enough, that cause you to fall down.

You will walk into the bar with what you think is confidence but it will not be real; your self assurance will be perceived as arrogance. The other people in the bar will turn to look at you disapprovingly and they will hear your clacking heels on the marble floor. There will be a high ceiling in the bar you are in and the clack, clack, clack will echo.

You will wait impatiently for your friend who will take his time in catching up with you. He will be slightly less sure of himself and his surroundings and he will be apprehensive about the night ahead, having spent the night out with you before.

You will order expensive drinks at the bar and expect someone else to pay for them. In fact, you will emotionally blackmail a man who can ill afford it to finance your binge. He will submit to you because he will know that resistance is futile. He will know this from past experience and though he will determine before he even gets in your taxi that this night will be different he will realise that this one will be just like all the others and that every night out with you will be exactly the same as this.

Early encouragement

2009-11-04T10:49:00.005Z

I demonstrated creative leanings from a very early age at school. I vividly remember a series of cat pictures in chalk pastel that my teacher remarked upon. These were mounted and put up on the class room display. I remember getting first prize for another of my artistic creations at the village fete one year, a felt tip rendition of a red indian squire standing grinning outside her teepee. The year before that I had won a crocodile soap dispenser for a painting of a pig doing its supermarket shopping (buying frozen peas), and i seem to remember also winning something in a wellington boot decorating competition with (again red indian themed) 'Big Chief Smelly Welly' (though i think i have to thank my Mum for that really).

This success wained as i continued through school and moved from the village into the suburbs of Leeds.

The first time anyone really sat up and took notice of my writen work was when i wrote a poem about a burning building; a homework assignment for my middle school english lesson. I took inspiration for the poem from a bonfire i had recently attended where i had observed flames of different colours according to what was being burned. I was in 'middle set', a moderate achiever and far more interested in impressing the two boys who i shared a table with than actually concentrating on what i was supposed to be doing. I remember my teacher's surprised response to the poem, reading it, looking at me and asking me twice if i had really written it myself. It was a long time ago so my memory is hazy but there was a meeting with my Parents after that, maybe on Parents' evening, and i was moved up into the 'top set' for the rest of my english classes at middle school.

High school saw me back in the moderate achiever band. This time it was my own take on 'The Pearl Fisher', where i wrote in 'missing chapters' about diving for pearls ,that prompted my elevation to the high achievers class. However, now adolescent, i was even less interested in engaging with my studies and saw school as a social occasion.

In the one subject i did take seriously, drama, I was fortunate to have a most unorthodox teacher. Mr Griffiths was a comedia del arte specialist with a knowledge about theatre that went beyond that of a qualified teacher. Another homework task, where we were to use a newspaper article as inspiration for a play again generated an excited and enthusiastic response from Mr Griffiths. The play was staged as part of a presentation evening for parents alongside a play written by Mr Griffiths himself. This was the person who suggested that i go see Samuel Beckett's 'Not I' and 'Happy Days' at the West Yorkshire Playhouse, a seminal experience for me. It is his encouragement that nagged at my subconscious and repeatedly brought be back to writing.

When the school announced that a-level theatre studies was not on the syllabus and i wept with unsurity about the future it was Mr Griffiths who I turned to. His advice spurred me on sufficiently to leave the secure familiarity of school and go to college where a-level theatre studies was on offer, but i was adamant that i would be an actor rather than a writer.

During my studies at college i was described as an 'all rounder' and enjoyed lead roles. I found directing very exciting too. No one noticed anything remarkable about the plays that i wrote, in fact people seemed rather unsure about the one play that was staged while i was there. The notion of being a writer was relagated to the odd emotional charged diary entry where i lamented a failing romance or unrequited love.

When it came to leaving college and going to university I was very close to securing a place at a prestigious drama school to undertake a BA in directing. However, i didn't make the final cut from a shorlist of twelve to fill the six available places. Looking back i can see that drama school and London wouldn't have worked for me. Perhaps one day i will elaborate on why here on my blog.

Here i am now, eighteen years after Mr Griffiths correctly informed me that i was a writer and that i should pursue this path.

Back to Blogger and to blogging

2009-11-03T10:46:00.002Z

I've decided that i'm coming back to Blogger and that i'm going to rethink my approach to blogging.

I've really raised the bar with my writing. Armed with the knowledge and experience i am accumulating on the MA that i have undertaken i am shaping up a more professional practice.

As Writers spend so much of their time in front of PCs/Laptops working on their writing and because Writers seek to communicate via the writen word it's no suprise that there are stacks and stacks of Writers who write fantastic blogs. These blogs chart their progress and become a kind of community. I need to plug into this community too and to add to the philanthropic melting pot.

I've been writing 'Working On It' over on the TUMBLR platform for quite a while but the community over there hasn't caught on. It's a platform much better suited to those working in visual media, paragraphs of text aren't popular at all.

So am back here with a new resolve and i'm looking forward to your comments and participation.

Over and out.

Opening night

2008-09-16T11:54:00.005+01:00

Most of Sunday was spent in a jolly and slightly excited mood. I could barely sit still and got to the pre performance rehearsal session ridiculously early. I used up some of the nervous energy stacking chairs in the rehearsal room before Ruth and Janine (the actresses) arrived. I stacked according to type and colour whilst listening to various emotive songs on my MP3 player, then scrubbed and polished the kitchen chair that was to be 50% of the set.

Ruth and Janine were buzzing with energy too when they arrived. We had a wonky run with lots of fuddled lines. I wasn’t panicked though ‘better to make the mistakes now than during the performance’, I knew I could count on them to do a superb job.

It’s a strange sensation having a piece of work go on but not performing it yourself. You don’t get the performance anxiety nervousness but still feel odd somehow. Its not nerves as such, I can’t really describe it. Perhaps the absurd setting that was the Dewsbury Arts Centre heightened the surrealism of the situation, the ‘back stage’ waiting, casts running their lines and putting on costume and make up, the damp smell of old theatres, the memory board of past productions from the 70s and 80s. Props, set and scenery from ancient productions all around, eclectic, bizarre. Dewsbury Arts Centre was everything I fell in love with the Theatre way back when, miscellaneous props from productions ten years in the past, stored in back stage hidey holes and just left there as there’s no category for them in the store, lanterns and equipment from the 1960s, still working, still lovingly utilised.

Ruth and Janine did a sensational performance. Their best yet. The audience reacted with murmurs and giggles; relaxed into the story and the characters came alive. Their applause was enthusiastic and the general ‘feeling’ towards the piece was positive.

I watched proudly from the technical gallery my view of the stage mingled with leads hanging down from the ageing lighting rig in the eerie glow of the technical manager’s desk lamp. I wouldn’t have had my first glimpse of the fruits of the past five months of labour any other way.

you can also find me here

2008-07-24T15:48:00.003+01:00

hi folks.

i have a new presence now. 'working on it' is about my writerly journey and my learnings in the way of buddhism.

http://workingonit.tumblr.com/

snippets of creative writing and images will contintue being posted here so stay tuned but do come over and visit...

door

2008-06-19T11:54:00.003+01:00

The impulse to follow the girl that had passed him on the bus had been overwhelming. As if he’d been caught up in a wind and transported, powerless against it’s gust.

He hadn’t noticed her until she’d glanced up at him. All the hairs had stood up on his arms. He’d seen the green of her eyes flash in a split second through strawberry blonde eyelashes. Immediately he had stepped in behind her as she made her way to alight and, almost involuntarily, got off as well, several stops too early.

He was a good thirty minute walk away from home in an area he didn’t know, but there was no time to familiarise himself with his surroundings or to feel annoyed. He was transfixed by the Girl he had seen. He was compelled to go with her.

She made her way around a corner. She moved quickly. He pursued.

‘What’s the rush?’ he though. His heart flipped over thinking for a moment that she might be intimidated by his following. His heart broke in a second that he might have caused her discomfort. He became breathlessly afraid that this sudden, instant, overwhelming feeling he had for her might not be reciprocated.

She broke into a run, as did he. She turned another corner and he followed. She was nimble; light on her feet.

A distance opened up between them.

On reaching her destination she stopped and turned to face a door. The door was embedded in an enclosed garden wall. She glanced at him once more for a fraction of a moment…then she disappeared through the door.

His broken heart pounded as the door slammed shut.

On reaching the door he threw his weight against it. He wanted to pass through and to catch sight of his beauty as soon as he could. But the door did not budge. He collided with the door again. It would not open. No amount of pushing or struggling or wrestling would shift it.

No effort on his part ever would open that door…The ancient hinges were rusted solid and the door was sealed up with lick after lick of paint. The other side was woven over and tangled in a creeping plant, established many, many years ago.

Thanks again to Stefan Lubomirski de Vaux for creating this image. More of Stefan's work can be found here and here Thanks Stefan.

tribute to lucy

2008-06-10T09:36:00.003+01:00

Luscious loose and silken tummy skin;
lovely warm lap lump furry purring thing.
Languorous in secret nooks and crannies;
licking all over body wash.
Leisurely luxuriating Lucy basking in the limelight
of a lounge-full of loving and laughing admirers.

long time no see

2008-06-03T14:38:00.005+01:00

Where has NC been? What could possibly have occured to distract NC from her blog nuggets of creativity?

NC has been very very busy indeed making theatre...

a long way from home

2008-01-16T10:44:00.000Z

‘Why not?’

He typed out on the miniature buttons, hitting number nine three times over to get a ‘y’ and the number one many times more to make a ‘?’.

He laboured to complete the message. Then hit SEND.

It took only a few seconds for the recipient to respond; her mind nimbler and text messaging technique more honed than his. Briefly he thought of his teenage Daughter and her lightning fire exchanges on the mobile phone she’d hankered after for her Fourteenth birthday. He felt a little sick, momentarily reminded of the youth of this young woman who he’d found himself longing for during the isolation and boredom of this business trip.

‘I don’t want to get involved. You’re married. I’m flattered, but No.’

He consoled himself with another drink and thoughts of his Wife, hunched over a laptop, working long into the night on a report she would submit the next morning. He asked himself if the desirable residence in the glossy suburb and the school fees were really worth it.

Image provided by and written in collaboration with Stefan Lubomirski de Vaux. More of Stefan's work can be found here and here Thanks Stefan.

HAVE A VERY COOL YULE!

2007-12-22T22:54:00.000Z

silent garden

2007-11-20T13:03:00.000Z

The low autumn breeze tumbles a fallen leaf and turns the brightly coloured windmill in the silent garden.

Cars parked up on the gravel; racks and pinions rusting with dew, morning after morning.

No headstone; it didn’t seem befitting for someone not yet grown, instead, stony children frozen together in play. Cold, hard companions eternal in their infancy; affectionate smiles as permanent as his Parent’s memories.

Sitting there too is a reminder of the faithful friend who’s canine heart broke on the day the boy didn't come home.

Written in collaboration with Stefan Lubomirski de Vaux who provided the image that sparked this. Have a look at his blog here and his photography here.

life laundry

2007-10-29T07:08:00.000Z

The property agent who showed me around the flat almost blushed when the downstairs neighbour hoiked up the volume of his radio. The opera he was listening to permeated the floorboards and reverberated through the whole top floor of the house that was to be my home. This was no deterrent. I had already become entranced by the fireplace sitting prettily at the far end of one of the vast, empty rooms and by the midday sun spilling through the windows and onto the floor. The tension rolled off of my shoulders and my brow unfurrowed. This place was the peace and calm I had been hoping for. I could breathe again here.

The February sunshine was uncommonly warm and accommodating on the day of my move. Adrenaline fuelled, James and I shifted my many material accumulations in boxes and bags up the numerous staircases. In a matter of hours, I was installed.

The afterglow of this achievement, which felt like a homecoming and a new adventure at the same time, stayed with me for many months but dwindled eventually never the less. The unpacked boxes stacked up in shadowy corners began to prey on my conscience. Amidst the trinkets and triumphant acquisitions in these boxes there were tokens and mementos that transported me to darker days. Here, neatly boxed up, was my emotional baggage collected and clung on to. Still shaping me, still occupying valuable space in my life. It was time for the sentimental me to part with this unhappy crap, no matter how bittersweet the memories.

My heart rate increased as I began to select what was worthy of being kept and what wasn’t. As the contents of a black bin liner expanded, so did my sense of accomplishment. Photographs of people best forgotten, match book reminders of disappointing dates, half hearted airport bought perfume gifts, generic and cloying and thoughtlessly unsuitable were deposited into the plastic abyss. Phone numbers written in drunken scrawl, once collected like trophies, were now shamefully disposed of along with snapshot memories of nightclub intoxication. Clothes that one clung to a malnourished form, too small to actually keep me warm, replaced with more ladylike attire to cover my now healthy curves. Music shared with friends who really weren’t my friends at all. Elements of myself explored but now discarded.

A refined me, liberated and smiling, made my way downstairs and outside and dumped the sadness that I had been juggling for such a long time. On the following Friday I slept soundly as the metal teeth of the early morning rubbish collection chewed up what I had thrown away.

weekend away

2007-09-21T17:40:00.000+01:00

We’d had our eye on the weather reports all week and it seemed as if we’d just catch the last weekend of the summer. Really, officially, it was Autumn, but prediction said that the sunshine would show itself, rebelliously, for one weekend longer than it should.

We’d packed our swim suits with this in mind, but when we got to the coast, seas mists obscured the sun and although the sky was clear and bright, the wind rolling in from the shore took the edge from heat that we craved and that would warrant stripping off and running for the water.

But still; the bright plastic buckets and spades and windbreakers and candyfloss and colourful seaside tat uplifted us from our city malaise. We laid back into our weekend away, our lungs full of fresh air; our nostrils tantalised by the smell of vinegar and fish and chip paper.

We had sand in our shoes and we’d been hypnotised by the sound of the waves as we’d stared out to sea. We’d sailed the same waves and seen the sea birds coasting the water farther away from the shore than a swimmer safely could. We’d conquered the length of beach twice over, exploring its rocks and its driftwood, toying with its tiny beads of stone and glass and brick tumbled and smoothed in the salt and grit.

And then, almost as it was just about time to go home, the mists cleared and the sun pounded down on us. Emerging from towel cocoons, we transformed hurriedly into our swimwear. Armed with books, newspapers and lotions, shades, and sunhats we trotted to the beach apace with other keen family holiday makers and weekend awayers like ourselves. And as we angled ourselves in our stripy deckchairs with sighs of relief and relaxation, as our faces raised to the sky to catch those last precious rays of the summer……..the sun passed behind a cloud once again, and remained there for the rest of the day.

Nelson

2007-09-05T18:09:00.000+01:00

‘Won’t be long now,’ the Kennel's Receptionist said, ‘it’s just taking a while for the dog handler to get the harness on’.

‘Harness!?’ I replied, panicking slightly.

I knew that rehabilitating dogs that needed to be socialised due to mistreatment by their previous owners was a function of the volunteer role I’d devoted my Sunday mornings to; but I hadn’t expected to move on quite so quickly from the fluffy, gentle, dog that I’d taken out the week before. That dog had preferred cuddles and affection to any heavy duty walking and posed happily for photographs on request.

I braced myself for being dragged around the designated walking area by a large, bouncing, out of control Lurcher or an over excited, impossible to train, German Shepherd cross breed. After all, my services were offered to be utilised by any of the dogs in need, even if they were terrifying, almost as large as, and probably considerably stronger than I was.

I heard him before I saw him. Straining against his harness, his claws scraping and skidding on the smoother than smooth dog proof flooring. All at once he was handed over to me and immediately I was pulled out of the front door, the handler calling after me ‘He’s called Nelson’.

Nelson was knee high and not too terrifying, though he wasn’t an overly affectionate dog. In fact, he barely acknowledged I was there until he was satisfied that he’d marked his territory and I’d poop scooped that mornings deposit. Once we had bonded over his bodily functions he cast me a sideward glance and allowed me an obligatory pat on the head. Then we began Nelson’s winning combination of plodding about, alternated with more territorial marking along with the occasional barking at other dogs.

We carried out this routine at all four corners of the quadrant, keeping a safe distance from the other walkers as instructed. Other volunteers clung on to the leads of their wards and all around were rescue dogs pivoting their anchors, taking full advantage of their forty five minutes of freedom.

old friends

2007-08-14T07:42:00.000+01:00

Stall holders watched us expectantly as we grazed past their wares. Absentmindedly handling tactile items within grabbing distance but not really paying any attention to the retail therapy that had been suggested as an activity for that sunny afternoon. We seemed to have caught up on nine years worth of news in half an hour as we babbled, ten to the dozen, talking over ourselves.

No-one seemed to have changed very much. When we finally abandoned the craft market, accepting that our reunion was far too exciting to be distracted from, we vocalised this and laughed about it as we sat around and drank tea. No-one seemed to have aged at all. I think the only noticeable difference might have been that we had chosen a café, rather than a bar, and tea, rather than something considerably more intoxicating to drink.

Of course, a lot had actually changed, circumstantially. Some of us had partners now, and some of us had children. We had responsibilities and had made progress towards achieving what we set out for all those years ago. We had experienced loss and pain and joy and new beginnings and thousands of new sights and sounds and places between then and now. But all this was forgotten as we giggled over the times we’d shared at the beginnings of our adulthood.

We pieced together chronologies of people who had been a part of us based on chance meetings and hear say. And there was a kind of mourning for those who had burnt their bridges and seemed to have disappeared without a trace.

Briefly we were eighteen, nineteen, twenty again. The smiling wide eyed sisterhood was resurrected around our table.

As we parted ways and vowed to keep in touch it seemed as if our friendship might operate as it had before…..although an inner wisdom that belied the outward unchangedness we had laughed about, acknowledged, lovingly, that it was more than likely we would drift back to our lives and away from each other. Perhaps meeting again in another nine years.

paintwork

2007-07-30T12:58:00.000+01:00

Gripping the paintbrush with my teeth, lying flat on my belly on the lino, I maneuver myself with both hands, angling my body to fit into the small space down the side of the loo. Once in position, I remove the paintbrush from my mouth. Stretching as far as I can and twisting very slightly to the left, I manage to coat the area that evaded other decorators before me.

I unravel myself from the around the toilet and scramble over to sit, fully clothed in the (empty) bath; prime viewing position for that particular spot.

Success.

Never again will I be blighted whilst bathing by the unsightly view of a neglected skirting board.

Feeling accomplished in the ways of one coat gloss. I move on to the door.

Lovingly, painstakingly I apply the paint. I am careful to distribute it evenly, avoiding the reservoirs that form where the brush transfers paint from the tin, catching drips, guiding regimented brush stroke rivers that will merge into a smooth surface once the paint relaxes and dries.

Satisfied with my evening’s efforts, the light now fading, I clear up and wash my hands. I open the window, ever so slightly, so that the fresh air can circulate and dry out the paint a little quicker. I set the door to a safe position so that my near perfect surface won’t be knocked or brushed up against or tampered with in any way. And as I settle into half an hour of well earned relaxation, a little black fly makes its way through the window and settles too....permanently...into the slightly tacky, fresh new paintwork.

2007-07-02T10:38:00.002+01:00

2007-07-02T10:38:00.001+01:00

2007-07-02T10:30:00.000+01:00

mermaid

2007-05-26T15:15:00.000+01:00

Her feet sting but still she stands there, temporarily routed to the stop.

A breeze windtunnels past her but she remains motionless apart from the carrier bag hanging from her stooped frame. For a moment it gains flurried momentum but still she is unmoved.

The turquoise and jades have caught her eye. The white horse tendrils make the water seem almost real. As if at any moment it will come crashing down onto the pavement and wash her away.

She recalls stories of pirates and of stormy seas, of sailors smashed against rocky coasts, drawn in by sirens, of under water kingdoms, of ships sunk along with cargos of treasure, of lost worlds, submerged along with their histories.

Is this what it looks like on a choppy ocean? Vessel dove down into a valley amidst the waves?

A breeze windtunnels past her. Bolder this time. She pulls her coat around her and decides to make her way home.

Tonight her dreams will be waves rolling onto pebbly shores, lapping against the beach. And she will be young again, one minute here, the next submerged, a flash of sunlight reflecting from her tail of scales as she disappears into the briny deep.

Inspired by Stefan Lubomiski's photograph 'absorbtion. Follow this link to have a look at his other photographs.

2007-05-14T15:39:00.000+01:00

Parson's Lane

Hollow echoes along the lane, a war call.
There is no war, but the beer makes it feel that way.
Leer at the ladies walking past, skirts short but scowling at this attention.

Giggles bounce off the brick work, the night is young and the young are free on a Friday night.
Girls not yet women, not yet broken, totter along the pavement catching up on one week’s gossip.
Boys in bars awaiting their arrival, heads twitching every time a new face appears through the door. Could tonight be their lucky night?

Someone not quite so young any more.
Just wants to get home and safe before any more chaos hits the streets.
Maybe settled in the wrong place as somehow just not settled.
Wound in a duvet long before those nightspots empty, ear plugged and blindfolded to keep the commotion out.

A lorry trundles by.

More war calls, louder now, shouting over the noise of the traffic, the vibrations giddying up some enthusiasm, oh how those shouts make his heart beat faster, stir the alcohol adrenaline in his veins.

Base grinds through the chests of those paused at the crossing when the lights glow red. Volume pumped up at the sight of bare legs, presence announced by that low rumble. Heads turn to locate the noise and driver, the right kind of woman purrs at this machine and he drives her away into the night.

Someone scuttles past, clutching for lost keys, the noise pounding in her head, needs to drink away the work stress in the comfort of home.

Saturday morning smells of the night before on Parson’s Lane.

Written in response to Stefan Lubomirski's photograph 'Red'